Things We Said Today
by Hawker97
Summary: Paul and Jackie no longer live apart and are spending a tropical holiday together. Things are looking up for them and their relationship. Now that they live together, will it be a big change for them, but more importantly will they be able to handle it? Will they make it out in the end, together and still in blissful love?
1. Chapter 1

"Thanks, love. I appreciate it." Paul says and tenderly kisses me quick. I put away the cream and his razor and brush my teeth while he puts on after shave and lotion.

We finish getting ready and grab a bag and put in various things: two beach towels, some money for the gear, a few water bottles, a few granola bars as food, sunblock, and our cameras. We then leave our room hand in hand and go down in the elevator to go the car to drive to Turtle Bay for our snorkeling adventure. The minute the door opens at our stop I hear clicks of cameras and I see a crowd of people in front of the front desk and I hear Paul groan.

"Shit." I hear him mutter under his breath as he tightens his grip our enlaced hands and he pulls me closer to his side as we both put our sunglasses on quickly. Paul starts walking fast and keeps his head down and I follow him and keep my head down and stare at my feet as we walk and the voices get louder.

"Excuse me, can we please get through?" I hear Paul say slightly angry as the press, fans, whoever they are, are kind of blocking our way and Paul and I walk away from them quickly to the car even though they all follow us. They said the usual thing and ask Paul how long we had been dating and what my name was.

They surprisingly asked when we planned on getting married and like always Paul says nothing and ignores them, he does a perfect job at it and never says a thing in return. He only replies to them if they pose a threat or have gone too far with their words. We quickly get to the car and we get in and Paul locks the door and speeds off while taking my hand.

"How the hell did they find us?" I hear him mutter under his breath as he let's out a frustrated sigh and I rub my thumb along his hand in slow circles to try and calm him down as he keeps his eyes on the road and continues to drive. I squeeze his hand gently and continue to trace circles on his soft hand.

"Paul, it's okay." I say softly seeing how he's bothered by it.

"I know, J. I just wish we could have a holiday together or I dunno a visit, where they don't have to bloody bug us. We're thousands of miles away from where we live and they somehow manage to still find us." he says with a sigh and I squeeze his hand gently.

"They're not around us now, we're fine, Paul." I say trying to reassure him that it's all okay.

"I know." he says with a sigh and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry to get crabby, love. They just bug me being there every corner I turn and I thought maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't find out we're here and ugh, now they have." he says with another sigh as we pull into a little parking lot for a shop and he turns the car off and faces me with a somber look on his face.

"I'm sorry." I mutter not knowing what else to say.

"It's not your fault. I just don't want them bugging us when we're outside and swimming and enjoying our stay here, I dunno maybe we should check out of this hotel and go somewhere safer and secluded." he says and a confused look comes over my face.

"Don't worry about it, we'll be fine. I'll figure everything out, now let's so snorkeling!" he says and i could tell an idea had came to him.

He leans in and kisses me quickly and we get out of the car while I carry the bag and we walk into the store and rent: goggles, snorkels and flippers and go on our way. I had no idea what Paul was exactly planning, mentioning checking out of the hotel and going somewhere secluded and safer? But I trust he'll end up making a good decision.


	2. Chapter 2

We walk hand in hand down to the beach and onto a vacant dock and I set the bag down on a bench. Paul takes off his shirt and I take off my dress and I stuff both of em in the bag. Paul starts to the put on the goggles and all.

"You, you look great!" I say playfully while I'm in hysterics from laughing at the sight of him in flippers, goggles and a snorkel.

"I look pretty great in snorkeling gear, huh?" he asks me playfully with a grin as he stands up and puts his hands on his hips, showcasing his attire.

I continue to laugh uncontrollably and I can't help but take out my camera and snap a few pictures of him standing with his hands on his hips with a goofy grin on his face with these huge goggles on his face and flippers.

"Your turn, Missy." Paul says with a grin as I put the camera away and get the three pieces of gear on.

"Well don't you just look sexy." Paul says with a cheeky grin and I poke his chest and we both laugh.

"Yeah, I'd say we both look pretty sexy." I say with a small laugh as Paul gets out his camera and takes pictures of me while I'm laughing and blushing.

He puts away his camera as we're both laughing lightly and we jump into the deep water at the end of this long dock. We jump hand in hand, kind of cheesy I know but I don't care because we're in love, into the warm light blue water and we swim to the coral thats not too far in front of us. The key to snorkeling is to float, to barely flick your feet much and it helps to not move much so the fish are more cooperative and don't scare so easily.

We swim up to the coral and see dozens of fish, some one color and others multi color but they all are beautiful and unique in their own. We slowly swam around the big area of coral taking our sweet time looking at everything and how exotic and truly beautiful it all is, from the different species of fish, to crabs and lobsters and other little sea creatures we saw at the base of the beautiful coral that the creatures inhabit.

We ended up spending about nearly 3 hours snorkeling, taking a few breaks by coming to the top and taking some deep breaths. By the time we were done and got back to the dock we were tired and our skin was shriveled like when you spend too long in the bathtub.

"That was so amazing." I say failing at words to describe the chance to see all those amazing fish in that unique place under water.

"I agree, it was absolutely beautiful." Paul says as we're both taking off the gear and putting it back in the bags it originally came in and we grab our towels and wrap them around our wet bodies and we sit down on the bench next together.

"Thanks." I say as I rest my head on Paul's shoulder and he rests his hear on mine.

"Yer welcome, love. I'm glad you had fun." he says as I close my eyes and relax there with him for a few minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

"What else do you want to do today? I don't want to go back to the hotel just yet." I hear him say as my eyes are still closed and we're resting against each other and I feel his arm snake around my waist and his hand rests on my left thigh.

"Im hungry." I state since it was probably noon now and the granola bars we had just eaten didn't really satisfy my hunger.

"Do you want to wait awhile for lunch or have it now, love?" he asks me and I mutter 'now' and he nods and neither of us put our clothes back on since it's always so hot out and it's always swimsuit weather here, a pair of shorts and sandals and you're good to go!

We grab our stuff, put it back in the bag and we walk hand in hand back up to the store to return the gear we rented. We return it and get back in the car.

"What sounds good to you, love?" Paul asks me as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"Hmm, the shrimp Mac and cheese at Bubba Gumps, is it okay with you?" I say as he takes my hand enlacing our fingers and he stretches my arm so our joined hands are resting on his upper thigh on the fabric of his shorts.

"Yeah, better than okay. I was hoping you'd say that place." he replies with a smile.

Bubba Gumps is a little restaurant we came upon a few days ago while walking around, it has great seafood and just great food in general. We've gone just about every day for the past 4 days, it's just that good. Paul always gets their fish and chips, which he says are just as good as the ones in London. I lean into the seat and close my eyes and relax while we drive the short distance to the restaurant, and we shortly arrive there. I grab a pair of shorts that were on the back seat and paul puts on a t shirt, and we walk in hand in hand into the restaurant. We haven't really had any big problems with people bugging us about Paul being who he is, people who occasionally ask for an autograph or a picture and Paul or I didn't mind, but luckily people noticed it was his private time here, so they left him be. We find a little table in back to sit in and we order waters and our meals immediately, having already known what we want.

"Paul, what was that you were saying earlier about checking out of the hotel?" I ask him as our chairs our close together, my head resting on his shoulder, his arm around my waist and my hand on his upper thigh.

"Well I just don't want to be bothered everywhere we go by the bloody press, I think thats who they were anyways. It's our holiday and I want us to be able to spend it just together, without pesty reporters trying to tag along. I was thinking that we could rent out, I dunno a little condo or I'd see if anybody I know has a house out here, so we can spend our holiday in peace. How does that sound to you, babe?" he asks me looking down at me while I look up at him.

"That sounds like going to a lot of fuss." I admit feeling bad he'd do that for me, for us.

"Not really, I dunno maybe it is. But it'd be worth it and it'd guarantee our safety and with this dilemma we're in, i'm not so comfortable in the fact that both of us are safe. Especially you." he confesses and I nod trusting his judgement since he has plenty of experience with all of this.

"A condo?" I ask confused.

"Yeah or try and nick a millionaires house if we can." he says with a soft laugh and a grin and I laugh too.

"You do that a lot? Nicking millionaires houses?" I ask playfully with a grin.

"Mmhmm kind of, on the tour in the U.S this past summer we did a lot. Especially in Florida and California. Pretty nice places I'd say." he says with a cheeky grin and I nod.

"I'll figure it out soon, make a few calls, we'll both be fine. I won't let anything happen to you, ever." he says sweetly and protectively and he kisses the top of my head and I lightly stroke his tan thigh.

I had to admit I didn't feel safe when we were hounded by a lot of press or people and Paul had noticed it and made me feel better about it, but he has been extra protective ever since my first encounter with em in June.


	4. Chapter 4

Our food comes shortly as we both relax while waiting for it. We decide to pay right then and eat it out on the beach and we grab two towels from the car, find a spot and we lay em down. I take off my shorts and Paul takes off his shirt as we eat our delicious lunch and sip at our cartons of milk, while watching the waves of the ocean roll in and people walk along the beach and swim in the blue water.

I've always confided in Paul about anything I have on my mind or something that's bothering me, and he's done the same with me and I believe that it's brought us closer not having secrets between us and being able to comfort each other and tell the other anything. I lay down and spoon the creamy shrimp macaroni and cheese into my mouth while Paul sits beside me on his towel crossed legged eating bits of fish and licking his fingers afterwards and sipping at his milk. I was very blessed having him put into my life, I couldn't have ever asked for a better boyfriend. Or a best friend. I feel very grateful that my best friend is my boyfriend and that we're as close as we are. One of us stroke up this conversation about life and our childhood and all and we started talking about a lot and it felt great to talk about so many things.

"Would you reckon you had a good childhood?" Paul asks me as we're both sitting cross legged facing the water as we're still working on our lunch.

"Mostly, yeah. Do you think you did?" I asked him.

"For the most part I guess so. It wasn't any fun moving around a lot and my mum dying when I was barely a teenager kinda ruined it and put this shadow over me whole childhood." he says somberly and I nod feeling bad that he had to go through that.

"I guess I've never really had the relationship I wanted with my mom, I wish we were closer and I've tried but I've gotten nowhere with it." I mutter feeling bad saying what I did when Paul doesn't even has his mom anymore.

"Just keep trying, love." he says encouragingly and squeezes my shoulder gently and I smile weakly at him.

It brought a lot of feelings up talking about my childhood and growing up. My childhood was great, it wasn't perfect by any means, but nothing is perfect. Had a lot of financial problems as a family, mom and dad fought sometimes and didn't always get along so well or have the best relationship. Always struggled with money, it wasn't paycheck to paycheck, but we weren't rich. I'm actually glad for that part to be moving in with Paul, starting this new life with him and kind of leaving that stuff behind in a whole other country.

My moms side of the family used to be really close, a potluck every Friday night and dozens of cousins and family members would be there. The memories from those times are some of my fondest, they're some that I miss the most and wish I could have back. Seeing my cousins and playing with them so often and all the homemade food. That closeness between that side of the family ended when my grandma died when I was just starting to become a bigger kid and life would become serious and real in a few years. Now that side of my family barely ever talks, because my grandma basically brought us all together. That was a hard thing I went through as a kid and in my life, losing her and that closeness with my family.

I finish my Mac and cheese with a sigh and I set all my garbage in a pile on the sand and I lay back down and take a deep breath, thinking about all of this stuff now is hard. Paul finishes his lunch next to me and leans over and sets his garbage beside mine and he moves closer to me and pulls me into his chest and comfortably wraps his arms around me as I bury my face into his chest. I don't know what I did or didn't do to have him put in my life and to be so blessed by having him, but i'm honestly so grateful to finally have someone come into my life and NOT decide to randomly walk out of my life. Paul makes it sound that he has no plans on leaving me, almost ever it seems and I just hope he'll stay, always. I sometimes fear he will just leave, because so many people have done it to me before and I at first was scared to get close to him, afraid he'd up and leave soon in the future. I really, really just hope he won't leave. I love him so much, and I don't think he really knows just how much he means to me.

"My life is so messed up." I mumble into his warm chest realizing having now having talked about so many things that it's worse then I thought it was.

"But you're not a messed up person." he says back while starting to soothingly rub my back.

"Kind of." I say sadly.

"But I still love you, even though you may be a messed person." he says sweetly.

"Are you sure you want to be with me, having all these problems that I have go on in my life?" I say somberly into his chest as I fear again he might leave me. He draws away and looks me dead in the eyes and pushes a lock of hair away from my eyes and rests his thumb on my cheek.

"Why would you say that? We've been together almost a year, if I would've wanted out of this I would've said so by now. Hell I wouldn't of gotten into this in the first place." he says in a sad tone, not angry at all, and I nod as a tear rolls down my cheek and he wipes it away with his thumb.

"I love you, Jackie. You're not a messed up person, you were just unfortunately burdened with all these hardships and bad things go on in your life. And I love you for every little thing that you are, every flaw, every problem. You're not perfect, nor am I and I love how you're imperfect. I love how you're not like every other girl, you act differently, dress differently, you don't take other people's shit and you know when to walk away. You know who to rely on and who to not rely on and you learn from yer mistakes. I reckon yer the strongest woman I've ever met, having gone through all that you have. All those things that made you who you are, an absolutely beautiful, intelligent, wise, witty, compassionate, friendly, smiley, girl. I love you for all that you are. I love every single thing about you, even the hard things. Yeah you're hard to love, but i'm not going to give up on loving you, I haven't these past soon to be 11 months and I don't plan on it." he says so sweetly and passionately as a few tears roll down my cheek and he quickly wipes away each one. I bury my face into his chest as a few more tears escape my eyes and he wraps his arms tight around me and kisses the top of my head.


	5. Chapter 5

"Baby, why would you ask me that?" I hear him quietly say as I stop crying and I take a minute before I respond.

"Because I'm afraid you'll just leave me one day." I confess quietly into his chest as he continues to rub my back as my head is tucked under his chin.

"Why would you think I'd ever leave you?" I hear him ask.

"Because so many people who meant something to me, people I love, leave me." I admit while a tear escapes my eye.

"I'll promise you that I'll never leave you. I don't want to leave you, the thought has never even came to my mind until now and I don't need to think about it, because there's no thinking to do about it. Because I'm not going to leave you. Yeah we as a couple have had our problems and bumps in the road and we'll have plenty more I'm sure, but I'm not leaving, Jackie. I'll never leave you by choice, remember that." he says quietly as I hear the waves crash against the shore and a car horn and birds chirping.

"I love you." I mutter into his chest while i shed a few tears and fail at words in response to his beautiful words.

"I love you too, and don't you ever forget that, because me loving you and you loving me is all that matters. It's all that will ever matter, it'll get us through anything as long as we remember that we love each other and just how very much that is." he says sweetly and supportively.

"You mean the world to me, Paul. You make me so very happy and I love you more than I can put into words." I blurt out as I feel his calloused fingertips run up and down the skin of my back.

"I don't think you'll ever know how much you mean to me, Jackie. Or how happy you make me and how much I love you. And to try to put it into a figure it's a whole stinkin lot." he says with a small laugh and I smile and find myself giggling into his chest.

"Ah, that sweet giggle I love so much." Paul says sweetly with a smile in his voice as he tenderly kisses the top of my head.

I unbury my face from his chest and look up at him as he brushes some of my hair out of my eyes.

"You don't need to cry, darling. I assure you I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving you." he says reassuring me while he wipes the tears away on my cheeks and looks deeply and lovingly into my eyes while I stare blankly into his while listening intentely to his words.

He moves closer and I meet him in the middle in a deep, passionate and loving kiss as his hand caresses my cheek, and the kiss lasted a minute and he soon pulls away.

"I don't know what to say. I'm just so grateful to have you in my life." I say truthfully while we again look into each others eyes.

"Thanks. I'm incredibly thankful to have you in mine." he says sweetly with a smile and he pulls me into a hug and tucks my head under his chin as I rest my forehead against his smooth chest and I exhale a deep breath.


	6. Chapter 6

I close my eyes and relax in his arms while taking a few deep breaths as Paul continues to rub my back, trying to comfort me. I sigh and try to clear my mind and I feel bad that I even started doubting him in the first place and crying because of it.

"I'm sorry." I mutter feeling bad.

"Darling, what're you sorry about?" he asks me and I can tell he's confused.

"Doubting you and being dumb by crying." I mumble with a sigh.

"You're not dumb, J. Yeah, it doesn't make me feel good that you were doubting me…" he says somberly trailing off.

"I don't doubt you anymore, and it's not like I always have. I'm just ugh, I'm insecure and I don't want to lose you. I just had my moments.." I say quietly trailing off into his chest while a few tears escape my eyes and i'm feeling even worse.

"Why would you be so afraid I'd leave you or I dunno think in the first place I would?" he says totally asking a question I've already answered.

"Because I love you a lot and I don't want you to leave like so many people I know have." I say with a sigh rephrasing it differently.

"I'm not going to, you don't need to be so afraid that I will and you don't need to doubt me." he says with a sigh as he kisses the top of my head lovingly.

"Thank you and I love you." i say taking a pause before I say the second line.

"You're welcome and I love you too. Thank you for always loving me, Jackie." he says sweetly while still lightly rubbing my back.

"I'll always love you, I'll never stop. Thank you so much for loving me, Paul." I say honestly and gratefully.

"And I'll always love you, Jackie." he says passionately and draws away from the hug to look at me and he wipes the tears away and tenderly and lovingly kisses me.

He pulls away after a number of seconds and my forehead meets with his and rests against his as I have my eyes closed while Paul runs his fingers through my hair. I lay there in his arms trying to calm myself and I kind of realize how Paul shows that too, he's always said he never plans on leaving me and he never has shown that he wants to leave me, maybe this relationship will really become something one day. Even though our relationship is already something, it's almost like those things you see in movies or dream about: dating a rockstar and getting to go to beautiful places on vacation and being so utterly happy when you're with them. I hope it lasts forever, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.


	7. Chapter 7

I end up falling asleep there in Paul's arms on the sandy beach with the warm sun beating down on our sun kissed skin. Paul continues to lightly run his fingers through my hair as I lay there in a soft sleep which didn't last even 15 minutes and I wake up to find him laying beside me still with his beautiful eyes closed as his long, dark eyelashes contrast to his tan skin. His right arm is draped over me as his hand rests on my waist and I brush his hair back and run my finger along his beautiful jawline. 'Man, I did a pretty great job shaving him earlier', I think with an amused grin on my face as I admire his exquisite cheekbones and his big doe eyes. My eyes wander to his soft, pouty lips and then to his smooth, tan and somewhat hairy chest as it rises and falls which each breath. I look to his watch to see that it's around 1:30ish and I let my eyes wander over the beach as people play with their kids, surfers master some waves, couples walk hand in hand along the shore with a look of love in their eyes as they look at each other whilst talking.

I rest my head back down on my arm thats on the towel as I hear the familiar sound of waves kissing the shore and little kids squealing about their sandcastles they're making and the faint sound of people's conversations. I think about the few couples I just saw walking along the shore and how i bet Paul and I appear to be the same to anybody else's eyes, young and in love and not having a care in the world. I close my eyes and I let the calming sound of the ocean and birds chirping lull me back to sleep as Paul lays sleeping softly beside me.

* * *

I wake up, I don't know another 15 minutes later to Paul running his fingers through my hair and I hesitantly open my eyes as the strong sun attempts to blind me.

"Mornin', sleeping beauty." Paul says with a smile using my nickname because apparently i sleep a lot. I close my eyes again and snuggle into his warm chest as I feel his arms wrap around me tightly and he tucks my head under his chin.

**_"When I'm with her I'm happy_**

**_Just to know that she loves me._**

**_Yes, I know that she loves me now. There is one thing I'm sure of, I will love her forever…_**" Paul starts to softly sing a line of the Beatles song 'Every little thing' and he continues to softly sing it as I smile into his chest.

"I wrote that song about you too, I kinda erm forget to tell ya that, sorry." he says quietly with a soft laugh.

"It's fine, better late then never." I say softly as I look up at him and I caress his cheek with my hand as he looks down lovingly at me while he tangles his fingers in my hair as he has a content smile on his face and I have a little grin on my own.

I move closer to him and I touch my lips to his soft, full pair as he holds my head pushing me into the kiss a tiny bit as his warm lips caress my own and I caress his perfect pair with my own. Our lips move together slowly for a number of seconds as I'm wrapped up in his strong arms laying on the sandy, warm beach as the warm sun casts it's inviting rays down on us. Paul pulls away from the kiss as our lips leave the stick and he runs his fingers through my long hair as my forehead is against his chest as I trace invisible shapes along his soft stomach while we lay there together silently.


	8. Chapter 8

"Do you want to go back to the hotel or I dunno drive somewhere? Cos I don't think we should be laying here any longer, i'm afraid we'll get burnt." he says quietly and I nod and we gather our clothes, the discarded trash and the two towels and make our way to the car, stopping at a garbage can to toss the trash and we get into the warm car and Paul quickly turns on the air conditioning.

He pulls out of the parking space and he rests his hand on my upper thigh and lightly strokes it as I look out the window as trees and buildings pass by us.

"Where do you want to go, love?" Paul asks me slowly as he keeps his eyes on the road and tries to remember where he's going exactly.

"Doesn't matter." I reply with my usual line, since I'm not all too picky.

"Hmm.." I hear Paul mumble while he has a slightly confused look on his face while he seems to be thinking of where to go.

"Wanna have a lazy day inside? It's supposed to rain sooner or later and some dark clouds are moving in, unfortunately." Paul says while leaning towards the windshield staring at the clouds.

"Sure, that'd be fun!" I say since I like having a lazy day here and there and it's good to relax from always being busy.

Paul nods and we drive to the hotel in silence and we shortly get there and put our clothes back on. I grab the bag of stuff and Paul hesitantly walks over to me and intertwines our fingers and we slowly walk up to the entrance.

It's even worse then when we had left earlier, now there were a dozen girls there too along with the dozen or so of press from earlier. I hear Paul let out a frustrated sigh and he tightens his grip on my hand a little bit and I move closer to his side and put my sunglasses on as Paul quickens his pace and we walk fast through the lobby as shouts, screams and questions are heard and gosh was it loud. Paul kept his head up surprisingly and stared straight to the elevator while keeping a grip on my hand as I walked right by him, almost touching legs we're so close. I hear click after click of cameras and girls were every way I looked and there were a few security guards from the fancy hotel trying to keep people back, but they didn't do a good job and people blocked our way and girls got on Paul and were hugging him. He tried be polite and get em off at the same time.

"Will you please just let us get to the elevator? We don't have time for this today." Paul protests in a bit of an angry tone. Girls kept yelling at me: asking who I am, calling me name after name and pushing me. Paul gets the girls off of him and he basically just pushes his way through the pack of people to the elevator and luckily it didn't take long for it to open.

"Bloody hell." I hear him say with a frustrated sigh as he looks down at his feet and then he looks at me with sad eyes and let's go of my hand.

"Darling, are you okay?" he asks me while looking at me concerned as he puts his hands on my shoulders.

"I'm fine." I say softly even though one girl hit me pretty hard on the arm, I'd have a bruise there tomorrow. He pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me as I rest my forehead on his shoulder and I wrap my arms around his middle.

"I'm so sorry." he says apologetically while caressing my head and rubbing my back.

"It's okay." I say and the door opens and we get out and luckily nobody was up here and we depart and hurriedly go into our room and I fall back onto the bed.

"We're definitely leaving, it's not safe for either of us, especially you, love. And I'm not going to put you in danger." he says as he sits on the opposite side and picks up the phone.

I move over to him and put my head on his lap and he brushes the hair out of my eyes as he looks down at me sadly while the phone is pressed against his ear after dialing some number. He lightly runs his fingers over my arm as my eyes are closed and I try to recuperate from what just happened.

"Why's yer arm all red?" Paul asks me after he huffs and sets the phone back down on the hook, obviously not getting an answer.

"I think a girl hit me." I admit looking at it and it wasn't beat red, but it was red and maybe the size of a golf ball.

"A girl hit you?! Baby, I'm so sorry. Ah I feel horrible, it's all my fault. This holiday is supposed to be so we can escape all this fame shit and get away from fans and the press. I'm sorry baby, I'm gonna fix this. I promise." he says apologetically with a sad look in his eyes as he lightly rubs my arm. He leans down and kisses the red spot on my arm and he kisses my forehead next and picks up the phone again and dials some number while he runs his fingers through my hair.


	9. Chapter 9

"Do you want to go back to the hotel or I dunno drive somewhere? Cos I don't think we should be laying here any longer, i'm afraid we'll get burnt." he says quietly and I nod and we gather our clothes, the discarded trash and the two towels and make our way to the car, stopping at a garbage can to toss the trash and we get into the warm car and Paul quickly turns on the air conditioning.

He pulls out of the parking space and he rests his hand on my upper thigh and lightly strokes it as I look out the window as trees and buildings pass by us.

"Where do you want to go, love?" Paul asks me slowly as he keeps his eyes on the road and tries to remember where he's going exactly.

"Doesn't matter." I reply with my usual line, since I'm not all too picky.

"Hmm.." I hear Paul mumble while he has a slightly confused look on his face while he seems to be thinking of where to go.

"Wanna have a lazy day inside? It's supposed to rain sooner or later and some dark clouds are moving in, unfortunately." Paul says while leaning towards the windshield staring at the clouds.

"Sure, that'd be fun!" I say since I like having a lazy day here and there and it's good to relax from always being busy.

Paul nods and we drive to the hotel in silence and we shortly get there and put our clothes back on. I grab the bag of stuff and Paul hesitantly walks over to me and intertwines our fingers and we slowly walk up to the entrance.

It's even worse then when we had left earlier, now there were a dozen girls there too along with the dozen or so of press from earlier. I hear Paul let out a frustrated sigh and he tightens his grip on my hand a little bit and I move closer to his side and put my sunglasses on as Paul quickens his pace and we walk fast through the lobby as shouts, screams and questions are heard and gosh was it loud. Paul kept his head up surprisingly and stared straight to the elevator while keeping a grip on my hand as I walked right by him, almost touching legs we're so close. I hear click after click of cameras and girls were every way I looked and there were a few security guards from the fancy hotel trying to keep people back, but they didn't do a good job and people blocked our way and girls got on Paul and were hugging him. He tried be polite and get em off at the same time.

"Will you please just let us get to the elevator? We don't have time for this today." Paul protests in a bit of an angry tone. Girls kept yelling at me: asking who I am, calling me name after name and pushing me. Paul gets the girls off of him and he basically just pushes his way through the pack of people to the elevator and luckily it didn't take long for it to open.

"Bloody hell." I hear him say with a frustrated sigh as he looks down at his feet and then he looks at me with sad eyes and let's go of my hand.

"Darling, are you okay?" he asks me while looking at me concerned as he puts his hands on my shoulders.

"I'm fine." I say softly even though one girl hit me pretty hard on the arm, I'd have a bruise there tomorrow. He pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me as I rest my forehead on his shoulder and I wrap my arms around his middle.

"I'm so sorry." he says apologetically while caressing my head and rubbing my back.

"It's okay." I say and the door opens and we get out and luckily nobody was up here and we depart and hurriedly go into our room and I fall back onto the bed.

"We're definitely leaving, it's not safe for either of us, especially you, love. And I'm not going to put you in danger." he says as he sits on the opposite side and picks up the phone.

I move over to him and put my head on his lap and he brushes the hair out of my eyes as he looks down at me sadly while the phone is pressed against his ear after dialing some number. He lightly runs his fingers over my arm as my eyes are closed and I try to recuperate from what just happened.

"Why's yer arm all red?" Paul asks me after he huffs and sets the phone back down on the hook, obviously not getting an answer.

"I think a girl hit me." I admit looking at it and it wasn't beat red, but it was red and maybe the size of a golf ball.

"A girl hit you?! Baby, I'm so sorry. Ah I feel horrible, it's all my fault. This holiday is supposed to be so we can escape all this fame shit and get away from fans and the press. I'm sorry baby, I'm gonna fix this. I promise." he says apologetically with a sad look in his eyes as he lightly rubs my arm. He leans down and kisses the red spot on my arm and he kisses my forehead next and picks up the phone again and dials some number while he runs his fingers through my hair.


	10. Chapter 10

"Why're you so quiet, love?" Paul asks me and I look to him and shake my head and look back to the window.

"J, is something wrong?" Paul asks me as he starts to rub his thumb in slow circles on my hand.

"No, nothing's wrong." I say turning to him as he's looking at me and he nods and looks back to the road with a confused look on his face.

I guess nothing is wrong, I was just scared by what happened earlier at the hotel. Those girls, the press and getting hit by one of those girls. It was one of the moments where you're scared for your life and you feel so threatened. I sometimes and still wish that Paul was a normal guy, not worldly famous, gone on tour a lot, kind of guy. I look to my left arm to the red spot from earlier. With what just happened back at the hotel, kind of moments like these make me wonder or have second thoughts about this relationship. Then I think how it's been almost 11 months, how happy he makes me, how great he is to me and how much he loves me. I couldn't just break his heart. What I'm saying sounds like I don't want to be with Paul and that isn't the deal by any means, honest. What happened just scared me and fights we've had have made me have that thought too. Now I feel bad having second thoughts because Paul said the thought of leaving me has never even occurred to him and now I'm having that thought and I've had it once or twice before.

I rest my elbow on the car door and place my chin in my palm. I thought of bringing the whole scared by the thing at the hotel thing up to Paul, but that's a terrible idea, he'll have a fit thinking I don't want to be with him, but I do so much. I just, I was so scared with what happened earlier and ugh I'm going to endure plenty more of that if we're going to be together for a long time.

"I can tell something is wrong, love. Why won't you tell me what it is?" Paul says interrupting my thoughts as I continue to look out the window and think of what to say to him, if anything.

I end up not saying anything, ignoring him and he huffs and stops tracing circles on my thumb with his hand. I close my eyes and relax until we get there and neither of us say anything the rest of the ride. I know he was just caring about me, but I just don't want to talk right now.

* * *

"Ey sleeping beauty, wake up cos we're here." Paul says shaking my shoulder because I must've fallen asleep and I groan and look over to him with sleepy eyes.

"C'mon babe, let's go take a nap." he says while tucking a piece of hair behind my ear while I look at him sleepily.

"I'm too tired to walk." I whine and he nods and gets out of the car and comes to my side and opens the door.

"Alright, piggy back ride then." Paul says as he turns around with his back to me as he crouches down.

I laugh with a smile and get out and jump on his back while hooking my arms around his neck and I rest my cheek on his soft shirt. He stands up and hoists me up more so I'm not hanging off him and he hooks his arms under my knees. He's a gentlemen and grabs both of our suitcases and starts walking as my eyes are closed.

"Crap, i'm gonna trip in this bloody sand." paul says and I open my eyes to see him stumbling a bit and I chuckle.

"Yeah go ahead and laugh, just wait till I topple over and we land in a pile." he says and I laugh again.

"Ha ha." Paul says as he gets up to the door of the house and I hear him dig a key out of the mailbox and open it.

We step into the house and he let's me down and I lean against him and I open my eyes wider to see a fancy, white house in front of my eyes. Or at least the inside, which has a big fancy kitchen with an island with pots and pans hanging above it on hooks. You step right into the living room from the front door and it has two big light brown sofas and a same color recliner. Between the kitchen and the living room is the somewhat dining room with a long table surrounded by chairs and then there's a staircase behind one of the couches that leads upstairs.

"Wow, this place is wonderful." I say with my mouth open in surprise at how fancy and nice this place is.

"He did a good job, i didn't think he'd do this well. But I'm not complaining, and you don't seem to be either." Paul says and I look at him as he says the last part as he looks at me with a smile and I nod in agreement.

"Let's go explore!" Paul says like a little kid at a playground and he sets down the suitcases by a cabinet not too far from the door and I see that he has a big grin on his face and I smile and nod. We go for the stairs as we excitedly stride up the stairs hand in hand.


	11. Chapter 11

We get to the top and notice we were faced with a somewhat long hallway with three doors, one on each side, with the one on the left being really close to the one at the very end. We venture into the first door on the left to find the master bath, which is even nicer then the one at the hotel. With an elevated bath in the right corner, a walk in shower in the left corner, a two faucet sink with a big counter, a nice closet for toiletries and all that, and a nice toilet of course. In all the bathroom is huge and we leave it and go to discover the next door on the right and we find basically a game room of sorts, with a pool table, a tv, a plush sofa and a record player with dozens of records beside it. We leave that room with giddy smiles on our faces and go to face the one at the end. We find ourselves in the master bedroom with a big, soft white bed in the center. With a dresser against the right wall and a dresser at waist height with a mirror attached exactly to our right, kind of like a vanity. I've never laid on a bed as comfortable as this one, and Paul seemed to enjoy it as well. While we're both lying down on it and Paul has his eyes closed I grab a pillow and hit him playfully and he grabs one and we get into a full out pillow fight while jumping around on the bed hitting the other with a pillow as we're both in stitches laughing with the biggest grins on our faces. I give in and collapse onto the bed and Paul does the same beside me and we both breath heavily while trying to catch our breath and we burst into giggles. We're such kids. I let out a content sigh and move over to Paul and I place my cheek on his chest. I close my eyes as he runs his soft fingers along my cheek.

"What was bothering you earlier, J?" Paul asks me quietly, breaking the silence.

"I was just scared by what had happened at the hotel." I confess deciding telling him will make me feel better. He moves me so I'm laying on top of him and I lift my head up and rest my chin on his chest as I look up at him and he looks down at me.

"Then why'd you act all tough guy saying you were okay?" he asks me and I shake my head unsure.

"I'm sorry that it happened and that you got hurt, darling. I wish you wouldn't of gotten hurt, and that I could've done a better job at protecting you. I'm supposed to protect you and I failed at that." he says sadly as he runs his hands over his eyes and let's them fall down to reveal his sad eyes.

"It was out of your control, Paul." I say while I stroke my thumb along his cheek.

"I know, but I could've done a better job. I could've prevented you from getting hurt." he says with a sigh.

"Paul, it's in the past. There's nothing either of us can do about it. It's okay." I say with a sigh since we had gotten off the subject.

"I'm sorry you were scared. I wish you would've told me that sooner, after it had happened. I-I was scared too, and scared of what would happen to you…" Paul says trailing off as I continue to lightly stroke his soft cheek.

"That, that hype and craziness isn't going to stop." he says.

"I know that." I say.

"I'm sorry you have to go through it, but you have a choice you know.." he says trailing off again and I squint my eyes surprised he would say that.

"What are you saying? I'm confused, Paul. You say earlier you don't want to leave and then you're asking me if I want to." I say kind of angry and confused as I move off of him and I sit cross legged on the bed. He's sits up and faces me with a bewildered look on his face.

"That's not what I was saying." he says defensively.

"Then what were you saying?" I say back strongly.

"Not what you think I was saying." he says not really answering my question.

"Just tell me the truth." I say.

"Tell you what? What truth? There's nothing I'm hiding from you, you know that. I haven't in these past what 2 hours, changed my mind about us. I'm not going to leave you and I don't know why yer twisting my words!" he says angrily and starts to yell a bit. I really don't want to get into a yelling match with him right now, or ever.

"Stop yelling at me." I say remembering him apologizing a number of times for yelling at me, but then he continues to do it.

"Stop twisting my bloody words then!" he says back angrily and kind of yelling still.

"Yeah well maybe you should stick to yours." I say and get up off the bed and go downstairs and I hear him behind me.

"Stick to what words?!" he asks me angrily.

"I don't need to answer that, you should know." I say going into the spacious kitchen and I wander to the fridge and find it full of food. I find a water and I grab that and a strawberry yogurt.

"Why the hell would you think I changed my mind?! I don't want to leave you and I was just saying that you have a choice to be affected by my fame and all this bullshit with the fans and the press. I don't, but you do. I wanna make sure you really do want to be in this." he says strongly, no longer yelling while my back is to him and I set the food down on the counter and look to him with a tear in my eye.

"Why are we doing this all again? Me doubting you earlier and now you doubting me? I'm going to say just what you said. If I didn't want in this, if I couldn't deal with the fame and all that comes along with it. I wouldn't of gotten into this in the first place or been in it for almost a year. We already had a big fight about this in June. I don't want to fight about it again or hell talk about it, because my answer hasn't changed. Yes I have my moments where I ask myself "what have I gotten myself into and am I really ready to deal with all of this and for it to become my future". But I never act on those thoughts and they don't bug me, i've just had them a few times. I want to be in this, Paul. If I wouldn't want to, I would've told you. I would've never became your girlfriend in the first place if I didn't want this with you and all that it comes with." I confess getting it all off my chest as a few tears escape my eyes as I have my eyes locked with his.


	12. Chapter 12

I watch as a look of sadness and regret flushes over his face as we look at each other and tears run down my face.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry." he says sadly and I say nothing in return. He walks towards me and wraps his arms around me as I bury my face into his chest.

"I want in this. I've never wanted something more then this." he says reassuring me.

"So do I. Even though I've had that thought a few times, it doesn't mean I want to leave. Believe me Paul, I want this. Whatever I'm dealt with because I'm with you, its all worth it." I mutter truthfully into his chest as the tears stop.

"I believe you, Jackie." he says while his arms are wrapped around me as we're in a tight embrace.

"Why would you doubt me then?" I ask him sadly as my arms are wrapped around his middle.

"I wasn't doubting you, I just want to make sure yer not having second thoughts." he says somberly while rubbing my back in a soothing way.

"Like once or twice but it only lasts a second and only when we have a fight or what happened at the hotel. Do you have second thoughts?" I say in response.

"No, never." he says and I can tell he was being truthful. I lift my head to look at him as he moves his hand to my cheek and wipes away the tears and brushes the hair out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry I always make you cry." he says somberly while I look into his sad eyes.

"Paul, it's fine. What would a relationship be without fights and hardships?" I say while I caress his soft cheek.

"An easy relationship, not one worthy of anything." he says correctly and I nod and rest my forehead against his.

"I love you, Paul." I say.

"I love you too, Jackie. More then anything or anybody in this whole entire world." he says while we gaze into each others eyes. I move in and I press my lips against his full lips and we passionately kiss for a minute as our lips move smoothly against each others.

"Let's go take a nap." Paul says with a small smile after he pulls away from the kiss. I nod and he takes my hand and we go up the stairs and into the bedroom. I fall back onto the incredibly comfortable bed as he falls down beside me and I snuggle into his warm body and he wraps his strong arms around me and tucks my head under his chin.

"I wuv you." I mumble into his chest as I have my arms wrapped around his middle and my forehead resting against his chest. I hear him softly laugh and it was good to hear him laugh and be happy after our little spat a few minutes ago.

"I wuv you too, baby." he says as he shifts his body and pulls me closer into his chest as we cuddle closely. I fall asleep to him rubbing my back and he soon too falls asleep right beside me while we're in each others arms.

* * *

I wake up to the rain patting against the window as I find myself still in Paul's arms while he's sound asleep beside me. The clouds are dark outside and Paul was proven right about it raining soon. I look to him to see him sleeping softly and looking absolutely adorable and relaxed. I lay back down and I lightly run my thumb over his soft cheek. I avert my gaze from Paul and look around the room to get a better look. There's two big glass doors leading to the deck with handled doors and thick white drapes over the two doors, there's a bedside table behind Paul with a lamp on it and there's also a dresser behind him beside the deck. Theres a door that I assume leads right into the master bath, and the room in itself is big and spacious.

**AN: What're you thinking?**


	13. Chapter 13

I lay back down beside Paul and I close my eyes as I listen to the rain hit hard repeatedly against the window as thunder rolls loudly in the dark sky. I move closer to Paul and I snuggle up to him as the storm isn't exactly making me feel comfortable. I feel him shift and move his legs and he wraps his arms tighter around my waist and holds me in a comfortable embrace. I fall back into a soft sleep as Paul lays asleep soundly beside me.

* * *

I wake up maybe an hour later to a loud crack of thunder and I groan and move a bit to get more comfortable into Paul's chest to fall back asleep.

"Hey hey, it's okay, yer okay." Paul coos soothingly brushing a piece of hair off of my forehead as I groan and try to fall back asleep, but I fail.

"Paul?" I mumble quietly into his chest wondering if he's still awake.

"Yeah, baby?" I hear him say back.

"You're awake?" I ask him.

"Mmhmm, have been for the past, I dunno 5 minutes. The storm woke me up." he says and I lift my head and move away a little bit as I set my head back on the pillow and I look into his hazel eyes that are set on me.

"Crazy storm, huh?" he asks me as we gaze at each other and he caresses my cheek with his hand.

"Yeah." I say in agreement as the thunder continues to roll while the rain comes down hard and you could tell it was very windy, seeing the palm trees sway back and forth against the dark sky.

"What should we do on this lazy day, love?" Paul asks me as we continue a strong eye contact.

"Hmm, want to finally teach me how to play guitar?" I ask nervously with a sheepish grin on my face as I watch a grin appear on his face and he nods and gets up off the bed and we go downstairs so he can grab his guitar.

"Too bad I don't have another guitar, it'd be easier that way." Paul says as he takes his guitar out of it's case and we sit down on the sofa facing the staircase and he tunes it.

"Hmm, maybe I should just call up Brian again so he can find a music store and get one from there." he says as he focuses on the tuning knobs as he listens to the pitch of the 6 different strings.

"You don't have to go to all that trouble." I say softly as I sit beside him watching him tune his left handed guitar.

"Nah, it's not a trouble, love. Trying to teach you with just this one guitar would be much more of a trouble then getting another." he says as he finishes tuning his guitar and he picks up the black phone on the table beside the arm of the couch and he dials a number while I go to kitchen and take a swig of the cold water bottle I had left on the counter earlier.


	14. Chapter 14

I watch as Paul talks on the phone with Brian while he pokes at the strings on his guitar, randomly plucking one of the bass strings or the two steel ones. I lean against the counter while letting my eyes wander around the house seeing all that it's in it as Paul talks to Brian and makes hand gestures here and there while his eyes focused on this or that. He looks to me and flashes me a warm smile and winks at me and I smile back and he looks away and finishes his conversation with Brian. I was looking at a painting on the wall in the dining room area when Paul comes up from behind and wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face into my neck as his fingers softly stroke my stomach.

"How about guitar lessons tomorrow, love? It would all work out better if we did it tomorrow, since I can't get another guitar until tomorrow." he mumbles into my neck as I feel his warm breath tickle my neck.

"That's fine. You don't need to go to big troubles for me, you know." I say as he joins his hands over my stomach and I put my hands over his and I rub my thumb over his hand.

"I know, but I want to, love. Remember what I always say? I'd do anything for you. Plus I love spoiling you and showering you with all these gifts and experiences, you deserve all my love, baby." he says sweetly and lovingly as his warm breath continues to tickle my neck as I smile widely at his sweet words.

"How could I ever make it up to you?" I ask him feeling bad since I can't return half of what he's already done for me.

"I don't expect anything in return, love, you know that. You loving me back as much as you do, is more then enough for me." he says sweetly and he tenderly kisses my neck.

I turn around and I wrap my arms around his neck as he moves his arms a bit around my waist as we look at each other. I move in and softly touch my lips to his in a tender, sweet kiss and he kisses back quickly and I pull away after a second.

"Thanks. I guess that's all I can say." I mutter failing at a thank you.

"Yer welcome, darling." Paul says with a small smile as I'm lost in his beautiful eyes.

"What do you want to do today, then?" I ask him as I run my fingers over the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Well we could go try out that bed." he says with a cheeky grin and a wink and I smile and nod.

"Really?" I ask him with a playful grin.

"Mmhmm." he says with a smile as he leans in closer to my face and presses his lips against mine. I feel his hands leave my waist and go under my butt and hoist me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he keeps his joined hands under my butt supporting me as my arms are wrapped around his neck.

We continue to kiss as Paul slowly walks towards the stairs and supports one hand on the railing as he hesitantly walks up the steep stairs and I laugh into the kiss a bit and he eventually gets up em and easily walks to the bedroom. He opens the door and falls onto the bed and stays on top of me. We go onto make love that evening as the rain falls hard against the window while thunder rolls loudly and the wind beats against the trees and the house.


	15. Chapter 15

I wake up from my slumber to find myself in Paul's strong arms as my head is resting on his chest and his arms are loosely wrapped around my waist. I look to the window to see it was still raining, not as hard as earlier and the sky wasn't as dark, nor was it as windy as before. I yawn and return my cheek to Paul's warm, bare chest and I pull the covers up a bit and I relax and close my eyes to try and fall back asleep but no luck because I had taken way too many naps today as is. I look over to the clock behind me to see it was 6ish and I turn back to Paul as I hear my tummy rumble and I stiffle a giggle and look up at my sleeping boyfriend. I move my hand to his smooth chest and I trace little invisible patterns along his upper chest as he lays there sleeping and I have no idea how he too could take so many naps today. I bet it was really good for him to actually be getting enough sleep compared to not always getting enough from always being in the studio, playing shows and especially being on tour where he'd get hardly any sleep. I feel his body shift in the bed as he moves his legs and his body a bit while his arms stay around me.

"Mmm." I hear him moan and I can't tell if he's still asleep or awake now.

"Paul?" I say softly while I have my eyes set on his relaxed face as his eyes are closed and I brush my thumb across his cheek softly.

"Hmm?" he replies sleeply without using words.

"Well good morning sleeping beauty." I say playfully using the phrase he always uses when I wake up.

"What time is it?" he asks me as he yawns and brings both of his hands to his eyes and rubs his eyes while trying to wake up.

"6ish." I answer while still looking at him as he keeps his hands over his eyes and groans.

"Chop chop! Let's go make dinner!" I say acting like him always being busy and up while I'm usually the one struggling with waking up, now we've switched roles. I hear him groan as I walk across the carpet and bend down to pick up his white dress shirt and I pull it around me tightly.

"Come on, I'm hungry and I'm cold." I whine as I stand at the foot of the bed while he stays put in the middle of the big, white bed with his arms over his eyes. I hear him groan again and I huff and go over to the window.

It was terribly obvious a good storm had rolled through, cast off branches lay on the ground here and there, the beach looked quite uninviting and the sun was playing hide and seek. I walk away from the window and decide to leave him to wake up on his own and so I venture downstairs while shivering from this sudden temperature drop because of the storm. I go over to the dial that controls the heating in the house and I turn it up so it's not so freezing in here. I wander over into the kitchen and look in the cupboards and the fridge and I come up with Tomato soup and grilled cheeses, which would be perfect for this weather. I grab what I need to make the soup and the sandwiches, including eating wear as well.

"Brr it's freezing." I hear Paul say as he comes down the stairs in pajama pants and a navy blue t shirt.

"I know. I turned the heat up, so hopefully that'll help." I say while stirring the soup I had just put on the burner while I feel Paul wrap his arms around my waist from behind and rest his chin on my shoulder.

"Mmm, soup and grilled cheese." Paul says softly as I continue to stir the soup.

"Mind helping me with the sandwiches?" I ask him and he shakes his head and unwraps his arms from around my waist and goes over to the bread and starts to butter it and unwrap the slices of cheese and put them between the two slices and he places them on the pan.


	16. Chapter 16

_Paul's POV_

The scene right now reminds me a lot of when Jackie came and stayed with me in London in September, us making soup and grilled cheeses. Our vacation so far has been fantastic, except for the horrible encounter with the fans and press today. I feel bad about it still, putting her in that position where she could easily get hurt and she ended up getting hurt. I feel as if I failed at protecting her, I even told her that and she disagreed and said she's fine. We got into a row earlier about being in this relationship together, I just wanted to make sure she is really ready to take all this on, maybe for forever. Maybe I brought it up because I was feeling guilty for that happening to her and her being put in that situation and prone to harm, all because of me. But we made up and both decided we really want in this and we always have wanted in it and don't plan on changing our minds. I was flipping the two cheeses while she was stirring the soup, in one of my dress shirts and she looked better in it then I do. She's so beautiful, I'm so very proud to call her mine, I love her so much. We finish preparing dinner and eat it at the kitchen table and then do the dishes afterwards. I was washing and she was drying when I decide to flick her with soapy dish water while she wasn't looking as she was drying a dish. I chuckle loudly while she puts her hands on her hips and gawks at me and I continue to laugh loudly. She takes the dish towel in her hands and rolls it up and attempts to snap it at me, before I run away.

"Come back here!" she says with a soft laugh while I'm hiding on the stairs as she's at the bottom.

"Uh no." I say while sitting on a step as I watch her run up the steps and I dash up the rest of em and hide and grab her around the waist and throw her over my shoulder.

"Put me down!" she protests while smacking my bum.

"No and stop hitting me bum or else you'll get it even worse!" I say playfully with a soft laugh as I squeeze and tap her bare butt a few times as I walk back down the stairs and lay her on the couch and straddle her while pinning her arms above her head. I take the towel from her hands throwing it on the floor and my fingers attack her ribs as she laughs uncontrollably and tries to squirm under my strong grasp but has no luck.

"Paul, stop!" she cries in between laughs while I tickle her stomach while I'm chuckling loudly.

"Paul, please stop! I can't breath!" she says while laughing in-between breaths and I release her hands and rest my forearms on the couches above her shoulders as her chest rises and falls as she regains her breath while I'm laughing me head off.

"Stop tickling me all the time!" she whines as I stare down at my beautiful love as she looks up at me.

"Nah, I have too much fun with it." I admit with a laugh as I have a grin on my face. She pokes my stomach and I poke hers and we both laugh and sigh.

"C'mon Missy, we gotta finish the dishes." I say while getting up off of her as she grabs my hand and follows me back into the kitchen and grabs the towel off the floor on the way.

We finish the dishes shortly and go over to the couch and flip on the tv to see if anything good is on. I pull Jackie onto my lap and softly push her head down so it's resting on my chest and I wrap my arms around her waist while hers are wrapped around my middle while her eyes are fixated on the tv, like mine are. We find some movie that wasn't too boring so we decide to watch it until it was over. I look to Jackie when the movie had ended to see her sleeping peacefully on my chest and I turn down the tv and shift a bit on the couch so we're both laying down and she moves a bit but continues to sleep on top of me. I move some hair out of her face and I run my fingers through her hair that's curly from having gone swimming earlier. I look to the clock to see it was around 9 and it was now dark outside and no longer raining, thankfully. I grab the blanket thats draped on the back off the couch and pull it over my love and I as she's sleeping in just my white dress shirt, and I trail my fingers under the shirt and run my fingers lightly over her spine as her chest rises and falls from each breath as she lays sound asleep. I kiss the top of her head as her cheek is pressed against my upper chest while my hands pause and rest on her lower back as I just lay there and watch the mute tv as she lays asleep on my chest with my arms wrapped tight around her.


	17. Chapter 17

I wake up to it still being dark outside as I find myself in the bed with Paul laying beside me while he's on his side with his back to me. I don't really remember getting into bed, but I do remember falling asleep on the couch last night while on Paul's lap. I look to the clock and see it's 6 o'clock surprisingly. I lay back down and try to fall back asleep, but I give up after laying awake for awhile. I walk downstairs and pour myself a bowl of cereal and grab a banana and eat my breakfast. Paul was still sleeping after I had finished my breakfast so I creeped upstairs and grabbed my swimsuit and a thin dress to change into and i made my way downstairs with a towel in hand and went to go sit down by the water as the sun rose. I've always loved to watch the sun rise, especially over the water to see the sun cast it's beautiful rays over the water as the sun inches up the sky slowly. I sat there with my legs pulled to my chest with my arms resting over my knees as the sun woke up.

_Paul's POV_

I wake up groggily and turn over to look at the clock to see it was 7 o'clock and that Jackie wasn't laying beside me, much to my surprise. The door to the bathroom was open, so I figured she wasn't in there and so I wander downstairs to find her not sitting on the couch or standing in the kitchen. My eyebrows furrow in confusion since she's nowhere to be found and I kind of start to worry about her. I get a glass of orange juice and drink it quickly while I wander over to one of the floor to almost ceiling windows and I luckily find my love sitting out on the beach. I breath a sigh of relief and go upstairs to change into my blue swim trunks and I grab a towel and walk outside to join my love.

* * *

I had been sitting out here for maybe almost an hour just gazing at the beautiful ocean as the sun had came up over it and at the beautiful birds flying over it while cawing loudly.

"Good morning, beautiful." Paul says as he lays a towel down beside me and sits beside me.

"Morning." I reply with a smile and he too smiles.

"Why're you up so early?" he asks me while he stretches his legs.

"I don't know, just couldn't fall back asleep." I say while twiddling with my fingers as I look down at the seashells in the sand, I wasn't avoiding his eye contact.

"How long have you been out here, love?" he asks me as he moves closer to me and wraps his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder and snuggle into him.

"Oh, an hour. Woke up around 6." I say while I stare across the water.

"Wow really? That's might early for you." he says and I nod with a smile and close my eyes in relaxation.

"Is something wrong, honey?" he asks me and I shake my head "no" and he nods and sweetly kisses the top of my head for a few seconds.

** AN: I'm sorry about grammar errors or anything along those lines. I wrote this months ago and I would edit the parts, but I don't have the time to so I'm sorry and please forgive me. I hope that you're enjoying this story still, by the way!**


	18. Chapter 18

For the next almost two weeks we didn't do much different. We swam in the ocean every day, ventured around the island, we went horseback riding one day, swam with dolphins another, and plenty of other magical things that Paul spoiled me with. It was now the 7th of February and tomorrow would be our last day here and I was not welcome to that idea.

* * *

I wake up to Paul planting small kisses all along my bare shoulder as he's cuddling me from behind, after having made love last night. His arms are wrapped around my waist and I move my hands to rest on top of his and I softly stroke my thumb along his soft hand while he continues to sweetly plant kisses along my shoulder and up my neck. I stir in the bed as I stretch my legs and I open my eyes sleepily.

"Good morning, my love." Paul says softly as he softly kisses my cheek.

"Mmm." I say in response while trying to keep my eyes open.

"Wake up, honey." paul says softly as he doesn't stop kissing my exposed neck and shoulder.

"Why should I?" I mumble while my eyes flutter shut.

"Because we have to spend our last day here in a special way." he says and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Hmm?" I say and he stops kissing my neck and rests his chin on my shoulder.

"C'mon we're goin' out on the town." he says and kisses my neck quick and squeezes my butt as I feel his weight shift the bed as he gets out and puts his boxers on.

"What?" I ask him still confused as I sleepily get out of the bed and I walk over to my dresser to get some clothes on as he watches me while putting on clothes of his own.

"Well tonight we are, to correct myself. Today we're boating." he says and my eyebrows furrow again and I find a pastel yellow dress to wear, since my attire for the whole vacation had been dresses and rarely shorts.

I hear him chuckle as I look over to him to see a grin on his face as he strips off his boxers and replaces them with his black swimming shorts and slips on a white t shirt while I cover up my naked body with my swimsuit and slip on the dress.

"I rented a boat, love. So we're gonna boat around the island and I dunno go swimming and just have fun." he says as he walks up to me and snakes his arms around my waist and I rest my hands on his shoulders as we look at each other. A smile spreads across my face as i'm surprised and excited for the days plan.

"I rented it for the whole day and then I made reservations at a fancy restaurant and then we can come back here after our little boating adventure to get all dolled up for the restaurant. How does all that sound to you, baby?" he asks me with a grin on his face and I nod with a smile.

"It sounds perfect." I say.

"Mm really?" he says as he leans in for a kiss and I nod before he touches his lips to mine and kisses me sweetly and full of heart.

He pulls away as our lips part and he takes my hand and we go downstairs and grab a bag and stuff it full of things we'd need for the day.

We leave the house and drive to some location Paul said the guy he rented the boat from was meeting him there with it. We get to the location and quickly board the boat as the man already politely put it in for us.

"Where would you like to go, miss?" Paul asks me as I sit on his lap while he's sitting in the chair behind the steering wheel.

"Anywhere, as long as you don't get us lost." I say with a soft laugh while I rest my head on his shoulder as I look up at him as he starts the boat and guns the gas and I wrap my arms around his middle as his hands are on the gas lever and the wheel.

I look up at his impeccable features as the winds whips back his full black hair as he stares ahead while steering the boat and I move my hand up to his chin and run my thumb along it and it feels like sandpaper because he really needs to shave. He makes a few turns and we stop at a little cove with a sandy little beach, seems to be undiscovered with nobody on it. The boats stops and his hair goes back in place and Paul runs his fingers through it and cocks his head to the side quickly so his hair'll go to the side. I snuggle more into his bare chest and I close my eyes and I feel his arms wrap around me and his lips touch my hair as he kisses it softly and he moves his hand to my face and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. I relax while he drags his fingers across my cheek and I slowly open my left eye to see him gazing down at me with those big hazel eyes and I open my eyes and smile up at him and he smiles back. He leans down and I move up and meet him in the middle in a passionate kiss as his luscious lips caress my own and mine caress his pair and I move my arms to wrap around his neck as we continue to kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

I pull away slowly and rest my head against his chest again as he runs his fingers through my hair. He stands up and hoists me in his arms.

"Yer getting in the water, Missy." Paul says as his hands are beneath my butt and my arms wrapped around his neck.

"No, don't you dare throw me in!" I protest as he walks to the edge of the boat with a cheeky grin on his face. He swings me back and forth and throws me overboard into the water as I scream his name and I hear him laugh before I hit the water.

I had no idea how deep it is where we were and I think it's pretty foolish of Paul to throw me in when we don't know the depth. I don't hit the bottom, wherever the bottom was and I take a bit to come to the top and I tread water and take a big breath of air as I watch him cannonball into the water. He comes up and pushes his hair back.

"So not funny." I say while swimming over to him and wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist while he snakes his arms around my waist.

"I thought it was pretty funny." he says and I shake my head and sigh.

"Yeah well I'm not that great of a swimmer." I say with a sigh and I rest my forehead on his shoulder as he holds me and treads water at the same time.

We go on to swim for most of the day and we then go out on a nice dinner date finishing our stay here in Hawaii.

The next few months in London

Our trip in Hawaii had gone by so fast and it was honestly so much fun! The flight back to London went smoothly and safely as we both were sad to leave warm and sunny Hawaii to go back to cold, dreary London which was to become my home. We land and get our bags and get picked up by a driver Paul had called for us and we get to the flat shortly and we bring in our luggage and I find boxes of mine in the little dining area by the table, about a dozen of em. Lily was still with John or Rings and we both go into the bedroom and collapse onto the bed and fall into a much needed rest.

It was fun, a bit stressful at times living with Paul, but mostly fun. During the next few weeks Paul was in the studio a lot which I accompanied him some days, but hung out a lot at Cyn and Johns house with Cyn, Julian and Ringo's new bride Maureen. The band had started recording some songs for the album going with their new film, which didn't have a definite title yet. Paul planned on Yesterday being put on the album, but not to be recorded until after filming was done since they only recorded a few songs then in February before leaving for filming. They all four left the 23rd of February for the Bahamas and Cyn insisted I went and stayed with her so after a refusal or two I gave in and stayed with her the month they were gone out of the country filming in different locations. When Paul came back in late March it was such a relief and so good to see him and we could finally go back to our own home and even better to be with each other, and we celebrated our 1 year anniversary together when he came back. They recorded the rest of the songs they had for the album after all the filming was done, since filming covered a few months. Paul, and kind of I but really Paul, bought a house over in St. Johns Wood around the corner from Abbey Road Studios in early April and it was a big, nice house that we both very much enjoyed to be in and have all that space.


	20. Chapter 20

"Wake up, J." I hear Paul whine as he shakes my shoulder and I groan and move away from him as I slowly open my eyes to the September sun streaming through the windows.

"Mmm." I groan as I feel him tug the warm comforter away and hoist me into his arms and I rest my head on his t shirted chest as I snuggle into his warm body while the cold air of the house nips at my skin. I hear his footsteps going down the stairs and he walks over to the couch and he sits down on it and pulls a blanket over us.

"Happy 20th Birthday, my love." Paul whispers into my ear while i'm cuddled into him as he rubs my back with his warm hands.

"Mmm thanks, babe." I mumble into his chest and I feel him softly kiss the top of my head.

"C'mon, let's go eat breakfast, I made it all myself." he says and I open my eyes and get up off him as he takes my hand we walk into the big kitchen.

"Uh oh." I say remembering his not so great or reliable cooking skills.

"I think I did pretty good." he says as he leads me to the kitchen table where two plates beside each other have blueberry pancakes on em, with our favorite omelets beside em, a piece of buttered toast and a few pieces of bacon.

"Oh Paul." I say amazed with a big smile on my face and blush on my cheeks. I turn to him to see a proud grin pulling at the corners of his mouth and I wrap my arms around his middle as bury my face into his chest as he wraps his arms around my waist and softly presses his lips to my hair and kisses my hair for a few seconds.

"What'd ya think?" I hear him say and I move away to look up at him with a smile on my face with blush on my cheeks.

"I think it's amazing." I say truthfully.

"I know, it's amazing i didn't burn the house down. I'm pretty surprised meself." he says with a small laugh and I laugh too and we walk over to the table and eat our delicious breakfast.

Paul had proven to me that his specialty is omelets and he makes them fairly a lot, with onions, ham, cheese and black olives which we both love. We finish our yummy breakfast and put our dishes in the sink and leave them for later. Paul leads me upstairs back to our bedroom and he showers while I lay on the bed playing with Lily who is know a full size cat who loves to cuddle and is a pretty lazy and spoiled cat, laying around the house a lot. She isn't fixed because Paul and I don't know whether we want her to have kittens or not, but we're leaning towards her having kittens.

Living with Paul these past, oh 6 months has been mostly a blast, but it gets lonely when he was on tour this past summer, as much as I went and spent time with Cyn and Mo. My parents came and visited last month, staying for a week in one of the guest bedrooms here and it was so much fun seeing them and spending time with them. Paul was gone for most of their stay so I showed them around London to do sight seeing as I had come to get to know London and navigate it pretty well. My sister and two brothers had came during June and July, coming separately each of them and we basically did the same thing showing them around London and just enjoying to spend time with them. Paul was here more for when they came since their week of stay he was home from tour for that one week and he especially enjoyed Sarah's stay since Sarah brought my niece Molly with who was 7 months when Sarah came in July. Paul simply adored Molly and he was so good with the little baby, always holding her and getting her to stop crying by singing to her or walking around the house with her. Him and Molly became fast friends and Paul was sad to see her go as I was too since I love babies and my niece is a doll, I love being an aunt. Paul and I have done a lot of fun stuff over these past months and we've both really enjoyed living together, even though we have our occasional days where we kind of get sick of each other or the other gets on our nerves. We have our lazy days where we just stay inside watching a few movies, making love, making some cookies or failing at making cookies since Paul would sometimes forgot the baking soda/powder or put too much or too little flour in and the cookies would turn out inedible and we'd end up just laughing it off. Paul was in the studio a lot like always and I came to not accompany him not much anymore since the guys didn't really like having their girls in the studio since the four are so tight knit and their girlfriends and wives are out of their little circle. Which didn't really offend me because I understood and I didn't want to bother them, especially Paul so I end up spending a lot of time with Cyn and Mo and getting to play with two year old Julian and Rings and Mo's newborn baby Zak who had been born a few days ago.


	21. Chapter 21

Paul and I of course have had a few fights over the past 6 months, only one was bad and I don't remember what it was about and frankly I don't want to remember. I just remember it was one of our worst and it brought us to our breaking point almost. Him being on tour this past summer really took a toll on our relationship and it was both hard and good when he had a week off a few times, it was good that he was home but hard knowing he'd have to go back in 7 days. We had been getting along wonderfully ever since he got back a little over two weeks ago, no fighting and we've both been happy with our occasional crabby moments but we always find a way to cheer up the other. It's kind of crazy but so great to think we've been together for a year and a half, a really great past 18 months and I look forward to our future together, whatever that may be or however long it will be.

Paul comes out of the bathroom which is connected to our bedroom, with a towel around his skinny body while his body is glistening with water and his wet hair is combed back like he always has it after a shower. Gosh i am the luckiest girl in the world dating him, ah he's so good looking and must I add incredibly sexy. With those long, lean, furry legs and his long, muscular arms with his forearms covered with thick black hair. Can't forget those doe eyes that are a beautiful shade of green-brown with those long eyelashes, ah I'm lucky.

"What're you staring at?" Paul asks me playfully with a grin as I blush and look back to Lily as I forgot I was kind of staring at my handsome boyfriend.

"Just my incredibly good looking boyfriend." I say with a small smirk as I look back up at him to see he had dropped his towel exposing his whole naked body to me and he still makes me blush seeing him naked. I look back to Lily whose dozing on my stomach as I run my fingers through her soft brown fur as she's stretched out on my body as I'm on our king size bed.

"Mmm, like what you see?" he asks me cheekily and i nod slowly while continuing to look down at our little pal Lily. I hear him softly chuckle and his dresser drawers opening as he finds a pair of dark jeans, a grey dress shirt and a casual black blazer and socks of course and lays down next to me after he takes 5 minutes to get dressed.

"So baby girl, what would you like to do for your big two-o today?" Paul asks me as Lily wakes up and jumps off my lap waltzing out of the room and Paul pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me.

"And don't say it doesn't matter." I hear him say with a soft laugh and I giggle into his chest.

"Hmm, I dunno." I say since I've started to kind of talk like Paul a little bit.

"Hmm…" I hear him mumble as he runs his fingers up and down my back.

"Well it's about 10 o'clock, John was saying something about going over to his and Cyn's house around 2." i hear him say as my head is tucked under his chin.

"What for?" I ask him.

"I dunno love, he didn't say." he says and a confused expression comes over my face which is buried in his chest.

"Is there anything special you want to do today, sweetheart?" Paul asks me.

"Um no, not really." I admit not being much of a picky person, easy to please.

"Are you sure?" he says and I nod into his chest.

"Okay, well I still have things planned." he says sweetly and I nod into his warm chest as his cold fingers move to my smooth leg, running up and down it.


	22. Chapter 22

"We can relax and cuddle for a little bit first." Paul says stirring in the bed snuggling more into me.

"Good, because I don't feel like getting dressed yet." I say and I hear Paul laugh, since I'm in my typical pajamas, well Paul's pajamas actually, I always wear his pajama pants because they're so comfy and great to lounge in and a t shirt of mine.

"I love you." I hear Paul murmur into my ear and I move and rest my head on his shoulder with my eyes facing him and he moves and looks down at me as he strokes my cheek with his warm thumb.

"I love you too." I say softly with a smile and he sweetly pecks me and I kiss him back as his lips stay still against mine for a few seconds until he pulls away and tucks my head under his chin again.

"I'm cold." I whine.

"How're you always cold?" Paul says with a soft laugh and I feel his soft foot rub up against mine to try and warm my feet up.

"I don't know, it's always my feet." I say with a small laugh and he kisses my cheek and continues to rub his clean feet against my cold pair. The phone rings and Paul removes an arm from around me and reaches behind himself to grab the phone and he answers it as we're cuddled in each others arms as our legs are caught in the others while our feet share heat with the others.

"Ello?" I hear Paul say softly.

"Oh hi." he says after a second of silence on the other line.

"Yeah of course." he answers as my head still rests on his shoulder with my arms wrapped around his middle.

"No, ya don't need to worry. Yeah, no clue." he says with a soft laugh and I wonder who he's talking to and what about.

"Yeah see ya then, okay bye." he says with pauses in-between his words and puts the phone back on the hook.

"That was John, just wondering if we were still coming over." Paul says and I nod into his chest.

We cuddle for the next half an hour and I then get dressed in the black skirt and red frilly button up Paul had gotten me for Christmas and of course the beloved necklace and ring he got me which I wear ever day. I join Paul downstairs as he's sitting on the couch with Lily in his lap, petting her and talking to her.

"So where are we off to, McCartney?" I ask him as I sit beside him and he puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Ah you know I can't tell you." he says looking to me with a grin on his face.

"Please?" I whine with a bit of a pout while using my bedroom eyes on him and I watch him look at me unsure of what to do while he nervously bites his bottom lip and sighs.

"Still can't tell ya, sorry." he says and he gets up and places Lily on the wood floor and I stand up and follow him as we walk to the door and get our shoes and jackets on and head over to the car. Paul starts the car and drives over to the gate and opens it to reveal a small pack of girls, which are mostly always there, maybe the same ones but there are always some outside of the gate. They're annoying, always buzzing the intercom and sometimes making it hard for us to even drive into our own driveway and trying to climb over the gate.

"Hi girls. Sorry no autographs or pictures today, because it's me girls birthday today." Paul says friendly greeting the fans as I sit in the car looking at the white, puffy white clouds against the blue sky. Paul gets back in and drives through and closes the gate and gets back in. Like always Paul takes my hand enlacing our fingers and rests our joined hands on his thigh while he drives somewhere, I wish I knew where.


	23. Chapter 23

"You know you don't have to do anything special for my birthday." I say softly turning to him as we're at a long stoplight. I'd prefer not being busy with tons of extravagant gifts like last year, I mean I loved last year but he doesn't always need to go all out.

"Why? Do you not want me to?" he says somberly looking to me.

"It's just you don't always have to shower me with gifts and going here or there. I still love the small things you do for me." I say softly emphasizing the word 'always'.

He nods and drives through the green light while he has a kind of confused look on his face while he seems to be thinking about something. I don't know what he thought about what I just said, it wasn't like I was rejecting his presents and all or was I? I don't know. I just feel bad that I can only do so much for him while he always pays for everything, even when I insist I want to pay for it or help with it. I didn't mean it to offend him or anything, he just doesn't always have to treat me like a queen. It was something new when we started dating him being so gracious but it doesn't have to be all the time.

"Why won't you let me spoil you?" he asks me and seems to not be exactly happy.

"Because I can't spoil you back." I admit with a huff while looking out the window.

"But you don't need to back, i've always told you I don't expect anything in return." he says and I nod slowly while still looking out the window. I feel his hand unwrap itself from mine and he puts both on the steering wheel. The car stops and I hear high pitched squeals of girls calling out Paul's name and knocking on his window since I was facing the road and he was facing the sidewalk.

"Hi girls." I hear him say in a happy tone different from the tone he was speaking to me in, after he surprisingly rolls down the window.

Not to sound selfish or anything but what happened to not singing any autographs today? I have my chin in my palm and continue to stare out the window as dozens of cars fly by ours as we're stationary and I spot a teenage boy walking his golden retriever as he crosses the road when there are no cars. We sit there for maybe 5 minutes as Paul signs autographs and I keep my gaze out the window and he tells them he has to go and he pulls off the curb and drives wherever it is where we're going.

"Why do you have to be stubborn?" he asks me in the same tone from 5 minutes ago, no longer 'I'm the happy, cheery beatle Paul' tone. I huff and don't answer.

"If you don't want me spoiling you today then, tough luck because there's two presents I can't take back." he says in a ticked off tone and I sit there unfazed still facing the window.

"What am I supposed to do? Never buy a damn thing for you ever again?" he says getting angry.

"Thats not what I said." I say back calmly.

"Why are you getting so mad about this?" I say fed up while turning to him and he let's out a frustrated sigh and shakes his head and I look away from him again.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" he says emphasizing the word "you".

"Me? You're the one whose getting pissed off about this." I shoot back.

"That's because you won't let me spoil you, hell you never have really. But why?! For the twentieth time, I don't expect anything in return, J. I'm doing it out of pure love for you because I have all this bloody money sitting 'round!" he says in more of a calm tone compared to last time he had spoken.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: Hey there. I'm sorry for not updating a few days which I guess isn't a big deal or anything, but anyways here I am with a few new parts. I hope you enjoy and leave a review if you'd like.**

I don't know what to say to that honestly, this is such an old topic we've talked about and now we're fighting about, on my birthday. I hear Paul huff and continue to drive and I fight the urge to take his hand in mine and hold it to make me feel better but I know he'd just withdraw it. We shortly end up at Paul's dads house and we both get out without a word and walk up without holding hands and walk in. Paul's dad, Mike, Angie and Ruth all wish me a happy birthday and little Ruth runs into my arms since we were good friends because Paul and I have had her come over a few times for the day. His family got me a few presents even though I said they didn't have to. It was just small things: a dress with shoes and Ruth drew me a picture of her, Paul and I. I look at the 5 year olds drawing as Paul and I are standing next to each other holding hands and I smile at it.

"Thanks Ruth, I love it." I say with a smile hugging her as Paul was talking to Mike on the couch, completely ignoring me having not said a word or touched me since our little spat in the car.

I missed his hand in mine or his arm around my waist and I in all hate fighting with him, more today because it's my birthday. We had some cookies and tea that Paul's step-mom had made and i was playing with Ruth in the living room while Paul and Mike were out in the backyard talking as Jim was on the couch behind me and Angie in the kitchen. Ruth went off to take a nap and I decide to go break the silence between Paul and I and head out to the backyard. Him and Mike are sitting at the little table talking about something as Paul's back was to me and Mike looked up to see me. Paul turns around to see me standing there outside the door and gives me a small smile.

"Um can we talk?" I say quietly and he nods and Mike politely goes inside closing the door behind himself.

"Come 'ere." Paul says patting his lap invitingly and I smile and sit on his lap as he wraps his arms around me and we face each other.

"I'm sorry." I mumble while looking into his eyes.

"So am I love, I'm sorry I always have a short temper with you." he says sadly and I nod and say it's okay.

"Please just let me spoil you? I won't do it as much as usual if you don't want me to." he says with a smirk and I nod and he smiles. I rest my forehead against his and he leans in slightly touching his lips to mine in that short distance. I kiss him back as his full, sweet lips caress my own as I feel relieved that we've made up now and we aren't ignoring each other. His warm lips move against mine for a number of seconds and I pull away after a bit to his disappoint. I laugh at his frown and he rests his forehead against my shoulder and I kiss the top of his hairy head.

"I love you." I hear him say.

"I love you too." I whisper into his ear and I feel his full lips kiss under my shirt along my shoulder and I squirm and he laughs and looks back up at me.

"Are we still on for later?" I ask him cheekily with a wink and he grins as he understands what I'm talking about.

"Of course we are, baby girl. Ya can't have a birthday without birthday sex." he says cheekily and I giggle and press my lips to his once more for a second and he quickly kisses me back and I pull away after a second. I get up off his lap and we go back inside and chat for a little bit and then leave when it had gotten close to 1:30 to leave for John and Cyns.


	25. Chapter 25

"What are we doing at John and Cyn's?" I ask Paul as we get back in the car and he immediately rests his warm hand on my exposed knee and lightly strokes it as he pulls out of the driveway.

"I dunno love, he just said to come over." he says while keeping his eyes on the road and a confused look comes over my face wondering the reason.

I huff and look out the window and I rest my right hand over Paul's and extend my fingers and withdraw them repeatedly, basically stroking his hand as we drive out to Cyn's house more out in the secluded suburbs. Paul takes a turn that wouldn't lead us in the direction to their house and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Paul, where are you going?" I ask him turning to him.

"I have to make a pit stop to pick something up." he says softly and I slowly nod and lean back into the seat, closing my eyes as I relax. I feel the car stop after maybe 15 some minutes and I open my eyes to see us at Heathrow airport.

"What are we doing here?" I ask him even more confused as he turns off the car as we're in a parking space and he gets out and I follow him still confused.

"You'll see." he says with a small smile and I still don't understand but take his hand and walk into the airport with him and we walk towards the baggage claim area.

We make our way through the vast airport, while walking around slow people and of course some people notice Paul as he doesn't try to hide or anything but he just lightly waves while nodding. It's not like him being seen at airports, especially this one is a rare occasion, it's actually quite a lot especially with this one. We enter the baggage claim seeing dozens of people waiting for the luggage to roll off the belt and I hear a cheery voice say hi to Paul while he waves as she walks over.

"Hol?!" I say seeing my best friend who I haven't seen since January.

"Hey Jackie!" she says stopping in front of us and I just about run towards her and we meet in the middle in a hug as I'm astounded to see her.

"What're you doing here?!" I say excitedly as we pull away.

"It was all your boyfriend here." she says looking to Paul and I turn around to see him with his hands in his pockets with a smug grin on his face. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him and he hugs me back.

"This is one of yer presents, love. I hope you like it." he whispers into my ear as I have a smile on my face.

"Thank you so much." I mumble into his chest and I pull away and he nods.

"I know how much you've missed her." he says while stroking my cheek and I nod with a smile and kiss him sweetly for a second and I pull away. We make sure Holly has everything and we proceed to leave the airport and we eventually end up back in the parking garage and get into the car.

"I can't believe you're here! This is such a great present!" I say happily with a big smile and I look to Paul as he starts the car and he smiles at me and winks and I enlace my fingers with his and squeeze his hand.

Paul drives away from the hoppin' airport and brings our joined hands to his mouth and sweetly kisses my hand as Holly is staring out the window at the new country. We chat a lot on the way to Cyn's just catching up in that short time and asking each other how everything's been and we both say great as Paul joins the conversation here and there. We pull up to their large house to see just their one car in the driveway and we get out and walk up the driveway and walk in.

"Happy Birthday!" a crowd of people calls out as we walk in and the lights come right when we enter. The crowd consists of: John, Cyn, Julian, Rings, Mo, baby Zak, George, his girlfriend Pattie, Paul's manager Brian, his brother Mike, little Ruth, his dad Jim and step mom Angie. I have my hands over my mouth in surprise and astonishment and I turn to Paul to see the corners of his mouth raised into a large, proud grin while you can see the smile in his eyes.

"Did you know about this?" I ask him.

"Well I did plan all of it and come up with the idea, so you think I would." he says sweetly and I immediately hug him as he wraps his right arm around me while caressing my head with his left hand and I feel his lips press against my hair for a few seconds. I pull away and I take his hand and we walk into the living room as people walk around, getting food and talking.

"I can't believe you did all of this, it's a really great surprise, Paul." I say astonished by all the balloons, a big banner over the main table that reads: 'Happy 20th Birthday Jackie!', and a few presents over on a table that also has an arrangement of food on it.

"Yer my precious baby, J. I had to once I came up with the idea." he says while we're standing in a corner by ourselves and I wrap my arms around his middle while my hands rest on his shoulders and his around my waist.

"I love you." I say in a happy tone with a smile.

"I love you too, don't forget it." he says sweetly while we stare into each others eyes and I lean in and touch my lips to his in a thankful, loving kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

Paul and I walk around mingling with a lot of people and eventually talking to everybody at least once as Paul sometimes wandered off to talk to somebody on his own. I got some money for my birthday, clothes from Cyn and Mo, and jewelry. Whoever made the food, which I assume was Cyn, did a wonderful job, it was spectacular and I couldn't keep my fingers off of it.

"Wheres the birthday girl?!" I hear Paul call out from I think the kitchen while I was buried in the crowd in the vast living room.

The lights flick off and I see Paul walking towards me with a big cake in his hands with 20 candles and I laugh with a smile as he sets the cake down on the table next to me with a giddy smile on his face. Everybody starts singing Happy Birthday as the four beatles, especially Paul belt it out loudly as I blush uncontrollably and can't help but laugh. I didn't exactly make a wish, because I couldn't think of anything that could make this any more perfect, the only thing I thought of is: I hope this never ends. I blow the candles out nervously as one is left and I laugh at the sight.

"Well good thing there's one left, right?" Paul says playfully and I jab his shoulder and he pulls me into a hug as I hug him back.

"What did ya wish for?" he asks as we're enclosed in a private hug as somebody cuts the chocolate cake.

"I can't tell you or else it won't come true." I mumble into his warm neck.

"Maybe I could make that wish come true, love." I hear him say as he runs his fingers up and down my back.

"I don't know. Let's just see

If it comes true or not." I say quietly into his chest.

My wish was hoping this with Paul wouldn't end, which I've always wanted and strived for and I don't think he can just make that happen, it's a two person job. He pulls away from the hug to look down at me lovingly while he softly strokes my cheek with his long fingers and he leans down to quickly kiss me as I kiss him back. He pulls away and we're given our pieces of scrumptious chocolate cake and ice cream along with it and all of us quickly eat the delicious cake and continue to talk. The party lasted until maybe 5 or 6 and then our little trio left after saying our goodbyes and with full bellies. We went home to get Holly unpacked and settled in and I found out she is staying for a week and I was so excited for this next week as Paul would be busy in the studio like always so I could have a new friend to visit with.

"Do you girls wanna go and catch a film?" Paul says walking into Holly's guest bedroom as I'm helping her with things and I was surprised since we didn't really do much of going out in public since it was hard or sometimes impossible for Paul to do because of fans.

"Sure." we both say and tidy up our appearances quickly and leave the house for the theatre. We arrive in good terms with nobody bugging us except for a few fans going nuts when they saw him. We get our tickets and our surprisingly led into a small, empty, private theatre.

"How are you enjoying yer birthday so far, love?" Paul asks me as we sit down by each other while Holly goes and finds a seat up front resting her legs on the chair in front.

"It's wonderful, thank you." I say resting my head on his shoulder as his arm is around my shoulder and my hand rests on his upper thigh.

"Good and yer welcome, darling." he says and kisses me sweetly for a second and I return my head to his shoulder as the intro credits roll, signaling the movie has started.

"Remember, yer birthday isn't over just yet. We still have tonight to enjoy." I hear Paul whisper into my ear and I giggle with a smile and gently squeeze his muscular thigh and I feel him kiss my head sweetly.


	27. Chapter 27

We all three watch the movie with laughs escaping our lips here and there since its a comedy. No snacks for us from being full from the party not too long ago. The movie finishes and it was about 9 o'clock when we got home and we all are tired, especially Holly from the flight and we all head to bed.

"I hope you had a good birthday, darling." Paul says as he strips off his clothes down to his boxers and I strip down to my underwear and I throw on a shirt of his.

"You know I had a wonderful birthday." I say while slipping under the sheets as he joins me in bed.

"Good, because it's about to get a whole lot better." he says with a cheeky grin as we look at each other and he moves to get on top of me and leans down to crush his lips against mine. I tangle my fingers in his dark hair as his hands explore my body while taking my clothes off. I feel his warm tongue enter my mouth as we deeply and passionately kiss while our bodies. We go on to have some birthday sex.

* * *

I wake up tangled in the gray bed sheets as the scarlet red comforter is strewn over half of my body while I feel Paul's warm naked body against my back. His fingers trail up and down my stomach as I rub my heavy eyes and yawn.

"Morning, beautiful." I hear Paul say from behind me as I smile at the words of my boyfriend. I turn around to face him to see his hair messed up with slightly heavy eyes as his naked body is exposed to me and I smile and wrap my arms around him and press my cheek against his warm chest.

"How'd you sleep?" I hear him say with a loud yawn and I giggle quietly.

"Mm great. How about you, babe?" I ask him as I feel his hard, calloused fingertips lightly run all up and down my bare back.

"Wonderfully, thanks." he says softly and kisses the top of my head.

"Mm let's go make breakfast for Hol." I mumble and he nods and kisses my cheek quickly while tapping my butt as we slip out of the bed that's warm from our heated bodies.

I find a pair of Paul's pajama pants and t shirt while he just slips on a pair of pajama pants and we head downstairs to see we're alone and that Holly is still sleeping. I go to the fridge to grab some eggs, a bowl of fruit I cut up the other day, and milk. Paul I go on to make scrambled eggs, buttered toast with a side of cut up fruit and of course a glass of milk. Holly walks sleepily down the stairs as Paul just finished the scrambled eggs and we all dish up and happily eat our delicious breakfast while talking lightly at the kitchen table and we stick our plates in the sink after we're done to do later. We all basically lounge around in our pajamas on the couch while watching the early morning cartoons.

"Alright babe, I gotta go. I'll be home at the lunch break." Paul says coming over to me on the couch with him in dress pants, a dress shirt open at the top and a blue blazer of his, very casual.

"Okay, I'll see you then. Have a good day, honey." I say back while looking at him as he looks at me.

"Thanks love, I hope you girls have a good day as well. No picking up any british guys just because you find their accents sexy, okay?" he says playfully with a smile to both Holly and I, and we nod both being in serious relationships.

"Good, I can't be losing you to some other bloke." he says and I laugh at his words.

"Never." I say with a warm smile and he nods.

"I love you." he says and leans down for a kiss and reluctantly pucker my lips as his full pair touches my own in a sweet peck for a second.

"I love you too." I say playing out our usual morning routine. He flashes me a smile and walks for the door and leaves.

"Aw you guys are so cute." Holly says as I turn my gaze back to the tv.

"Thanks." I say with a small laugh and a proud smile.


	28. Chapter 28

"J, we have too big of a house! We need to fill it with children!" I hear Paul say out in the living room playing guitar as I'm in the kitchen making lasagna. I laugh softly to myself with a smile as I finish the first layer of lasagna.

"You think so?" I call back while spreading cottage cheese for the second layer.

"Yeah, I do!" he says back and I hear his footsteps and he enters the kitchen and hugs me from behind.

It's Valentines day and I offered to make homemade lasagna for dinner as we were out and about all day. Paul made me breakfast without burning the house down or burning it, we had lunch at a fancy restaurant, gave each other our presents, went to the studios alone and hung out alone in studio 2. Paul is such a romantic and brought: blankets, roses for me, chocolates, candles and wine and we hung out there for a few hours in each others arms while he sang songs to me.

"Hmm.." I say to his answer as I feel his hands rest on my stomach as I lay down the piece of noodle and continue the layering.

"What're yer thoughts on marriage, love?" Paul asks me quietly and I'm surprised at his sudden question as I continue with the lasagna.

"What do you mean?" I ask since he wasn't really clear or specific.

"You know could you see yourself getting married one day? Do you want to get married one day?" he asks me while his chin rests on my shoulder as his warm breath hits the back of my neck and sends shudders down my spine.

Paul and I have been together for almost 2 years, and yeah I've thought of the idea of us getting married but I've never thought about it any more then that and we've kind of joked about it, never really talking about it surprisingly and now it looks like that's what we're about to do.

"Yes to both. How about you?" I ask him afraid he isn't or ever would really be ready for that kind of commitment, knowing him.

"Yeah I could see myself getting married one day and yes I'd like to." he says quietly and I nod while applying the meat sauce to the last layer.

"Hmm.." he says and leaves my side to go eat the scraps of the meat sauce.

"What?" I say and he shakes his head.

"Oh nothing." he says while licking his fingers and I nod and finish the lasagna and slide it into the oven.

I lean against the counter to see him looking at his feet with his eyebrows furrowed, seeming to be ponder a thought. I sigh and turn around to do the dishes. '_That wasn't much of a conversation for that subject_', I think and shrug it off. Of course I hope this relationship of ours would maybe turn into that one day, I guess maybe i'd be ready for that one day. I'm only 20 though and Paul is 23, we're still only kids, or at least we act like that a lot of the time. '_No need to think about or stress any, Jackie. Just forget about it, if he wants to talk about it anymore he'll bring it up and plus the man is the one who proposes. Just live in the moment_, I think to myself and I sigh. We were eating the lasagna at the kitchen table, which turned out really good and Paul loved it and I was happy for that.

"Could you see us getting married?" Paul asks randomly and I lift my gaze from my plate to him as I see him waiting for my answer.

"Uh yeah." I say uneasily, not knowing really what to say since want and expectation is different.

I want us to get married but I don't know if that'll happen, it's all up to Paul really to propose and make that decision. He nods and looks back to his plate without saying anything more about marriage and I brush it off and eat my lasagna. It was 1966 now and I guess not a lot had changed in the last 5 months.

* * *

It was now the first week of March and Paul and I had just happily celebrated our two year anniversary a few days ago. Back to present time, It's late afternoon and I'm in the laundry room off of the living room doing a load of whites, since I do the laundry for both of us but I don't mind because it's not like I do everything around here, Paul helps a lot.

"Come 'ere girl, let's go meet yer mum!" I hear Paul say a second after I heard the door open. I close the door on the washer and walk out into the living room to see Paul holding a little black and white spotted puppy and I immediately adore her.

"Hi sweetheart, meet our new Sheepdog puppy Martha." Paul says as he inches closer to me and I pet the little ball of fur.

"Hi Martha." I say while running my fingers through the puppies soft fur.

"Aw Paul, she's adorable." I say admiring the cute puppy who's looking at me with dark, innocent eyes.

"Do you like the name 'Martha' for her, darling? I want to make sure that you do." he questions.

"Yeah, i love the name and i think it fits her perfectly," i begin with my answer. "Why'd you get her?" I ask him curiously.

"Well I thought we needed a little puppy and another girl in the house, and most importantly I found out today we got the farm up in Scotland, and we need a little sheepdog to help me herd the sheep." he says and my mouth is agape in shock and happiness that we got the farm in Scotland, which we're really passionate about ever since we found out about it.

"Oh Paul, that's fantastic!" I say and he lightly chuckles with a nod and bends down to put Martha down. He pulls me into a hug and I hug him back and he pulls away and keeping one arm around my waist as we stand side by side looking down at little Martha sitting there looking up to us with sad eyes.

"Oh darling, don't be sad. Yer okay. Let's go feed you and get you some water, huh how does that sound?" Paul says as his arm falls from my waist and he walks into the kitchen and Martha adorably follows him right on his heel. She's absolutely adorable and Paul already seems to love her.

I see Lily waltz from down the stairs and I pick her up and pet her.

"Hey Lil. You have a sister! Exciting, huh?" I say to her and I walk into the kitchen to see Paul kneeling beside Martha as she eats hungrily out of her food dish by the refrigerator and I smile at the sight of Paul looking at her so intently with a giddy smile on his face.

"How do you think they'll do together?" i ask Paul and he stands up and looks at me.

"Oh, I dunno. We'll have to do a proper introduction and see how they do. I'm sure they'll be fine, J." he says with a smile and I nod and he bends back down to pet Martha.

**AN: I hope that you liked this last part and that you're still enjoying this story still.**


	29. Chapter 29

"I have this next week off by the way, so let's go up to the farm." Paul says as we moved to the living room on the couch and Lily is in my lap staring intently at Martha whose laying in Paul's as we're facing each other to see how the two do.

"Really? Yeah I'd love to! But what about furniture, plumbing, electricity and all that?" I ask him and I look to cute, little Martha as Paul pets her.

"Oh I ordered a bed, a couch, a recliner, kitchen table, just what we need right now love. As for that the realtor bloke said he turned that stuff on and I told him I'd be coming tomorrow to stay there and he said he'd get it all ready for us, so no need to worry." he says reassuring me and I nod.

We have dinner and the girls seem to get along, but Martha stayed real close to Paul since she was scared of her new home and didn't seem too comfortable with Lily, so Paul and her are already good pals.

* * *

I was upstairs getting ready for bed as Paul was out in the backyard with Martha and I slip on pajamas and get under the covers. I think about how Paul and I haven't really spent much time with each other since our anniversary 5 days ago and it makes me a bit sad, having not made love or really spent time together. Paul had come home really late the past few nights, after i had gone to bed and I just want to cuddle or make love. I sigh and shut off the light and move in the bed to get comfortable as I stare out into the darkness waiting for sleep to arrive.

* * *

I wake up from my light sleep as I feel Paul's weight stir the bed as he gets in and I feel a long, wet tongue lick my face and I giggle.

"Martha, don't be licking yer mum when she's sleeping." I hear Paul say playfully and he pats the bed and I hear her footsteps as she walks over to Paul's side of the bed and she lays down below his feet and I hear him move and lay down.

I feel Paul's strong arms pull me over to him and I easily let him as I feel relief hit me as his arms wrap around me and I rest my cheek against his cold, barren chest.

"I missed you." I whisper.

"While I was outside for those 10 minutes?" he says quietly with a soft laugh.

"You've been gone a lot lately." I say as I feel his cold hand slip up my shirt and rub my back.

"I know I have love and I'm sorry. But we get this next week to ourselves and we can spend loads of time with each other." he says and I nod.

"I missed you too, sweetheart." he says sweetly and I kiss his scratchy neck.

"Goodnight my dearest love. I love you." I hear him say.

"I love you too honey and goodnight." I say and I feel him kiss the top of my head and I lift my head and touch my lips to his in the dark and he immediately kisses me back and moves his hand to my cheek.

We passionately kiss for a few seconds as we're hungry for each others lips and I thought we'd make love as he seems desperate for that but he pulls away and yawns, he's tired and I'm tired so it's better that way. I feel Martha get up and walk toward us and whine.

"Hi girl, you don't need to cry, yer alright. Come and snuggle with mummy and daddy." he says sweetly to the puppy and she walks in-between us and plants herself on the space between our legs.

I feel her head nuzzle into my legs and she leaves it there pressed against my leg and I reach down and massage her furry head. I find it terribly cute to Paul saying '_mummy and daddy'_, it sounds like something he'd say if we had a kid and one day and they came and snuck in bed with us. I feel Paul kiss my forehead and we both lay back down and I rest my hand on Martha's belly as all three of us are content, happy and tired.

* * *

"Martha, leave yer mum to sleep. C'mon girl, let's go downstairs to hang out with Lil." I hear Paul whisper with a soft laugh as I wake up to Martha licking my face and I laugh and squirm while I hear Paul chuckling.

"Good morning, Martha. How'd you sleep, girl?" I say sitting up and ruffling the puppy's hair as she sits in front me wagging her tail.

"Good morning beautiful. I'm sorry she woke you love, I was just about to take her out but she insisted to wake her mum up, huh you just wanted to say hi to yer mum, didn't you?" Paul says sweetly and he pets Martha when talking about her and I laugh and get out bed and walk over to Paul to hug him. He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head repeatedly for a few seconds and he tucks my head under his chin as I soak in the heat from his bare chest that I'm pressed against.


	30. Chapter 30

All four of us eat our breakfast and then Paul and I go upstairs to get ready.

"Paul what all do we need to pack?" I ask him as I'm sitting on the bed petting the cuddly Martha.

"Heavy clothes, since it snows harder up there and will be much colder up there also." Paul says as he comes out of the shower in a towel and I nod and continue to run my fingers through Martha's fur.

Where I lived in the states we always had cold, long winters so london's winters aren't really anything new to me, which is a good thing. Paul and I both get dressed, get out suitcases and stuff them with pants, long shirts and plenty of other warm clothes. Paul said we'd have to go to a market up there for food or we could order it, so we packed ourselves a lunch for the long drive up there.

We got the girls' food and brought them outside into the car, made sure we have everything and left for Scotland for the next week. I stared out the window as Paul drove and the girls are in the back snoozing and I soon feel sleep come over me. We take some bathroom and gas breaks and a lunch break along the way.

* * *

"J darling, wake up." I hear Paul say as he shakes my shoulder and I groan and snuggle into the seat.

"C'mon love, let's go inside and get warm." Paul says and I nod and we grab our bags and the girls and enter the warm house. I plop down on the couch and Martha jumps up on my lap and snuggles into me and I pet her and try to wake up while Paul is in the kitchen.

"Are you hungry, love?" I hear Paul ask me as I hear pots and pans shuffle and dog food being poured. I tell him "yes" and he says he'd put a pot of soup on.

"Martha, come 'ere girl. Come and eat yer dinner." I hear Paul call to her and she jumps off my lap and pads into the kitchen as I see Lily lounging next to me on the couch and I pet her, but she soon joins Martha for dinner.

Paul and I have our soup and some sandwiches as our dinner and wash the dishes quickly. We all head to bed soon after from being tired and Martha joins Paul and I again while Lily sleeps on the couch downstairs.

"Are you warm enough, J?" Paul asks me as we just slipped into the cold bed and I shake my head '_no_' and he moves over to me and pulls me into his warm chest that invites me.

"Mmm." I mumble into his chest and I hear him softly chuckle and he kisses the top of my head and rubs my back to warm me up.

"Get my feet." I whine and I hear Paul softly laugh and soon enough my I feel his warm feet against my cold pair as he rubs his feet against mine and I snuggle more into his warm body as Martha is lounging at the foot of the bed.

I fall asleep soon enough there in his arms while our legs are tangled together with our arms around each other while Martha, the little ball of fur contently snoozes at our feet.

* * *

I wake up to Martha bouncing around on the bed and Paul lightly chuckling.

"C'mon Martha, come downstairs with me. Ya don't want to wake yer mum up." I hear Paul whisper and I yawn and stretch.

"Ah well good morning, my love. How did you sleep?" I hear Paul ask me as I groan and pull the covers over my shoulders to fight off the cold and I feel Paul crawl into the bed.

"C'mon wakey wakey, we got stuff to do today, love." I hear Paul say him being a busy bee.

"Why can't we just relax for a day?" I mumble.

"Well I guess we could just erm do all that farm stuff tomorrow and relax today." I hear Paul say as my heavy eyes are closed. I nod and I feel Paul kiss my forehead sweetly and get back under the covers and I feel his warm body snuggle into mine and I wrap my arms around him and soak in his body heat.

"Lazy day then?" he asks me and I nod.

"We have to order groceries some time today, love. Do some laundry for bed sheets, blankets, washcloths and towels and clean the bathroom and kitchen." I hear him say as my face is buried into his warm neck and I nod into it as I feel his warm hands on my back.

"Can we fit lovemaking into our duties for today?" I mumble into his chest.

"Of course, my love." he says and I nod into his chest.


	31. Chapter 31

I fall back asleep there in Paul's arms as our warm bodies are snuggled together.

* * *

I wake up to Paul's loud snoring about an hour later and I slowly unwrap his arms and legs from me and I snap my fingers for lazy Martha to follow me downstairs so I can feed her. I find the dog and cat food on the counter and fill up both dishes for the girls and I see we have a coffee maker. Luckily there was coffee in one of the kitchen cupboards and I make some and eat an apple while it brews. I went over to the couch with a blanket with my hot cup of coffee with Martha at my feet and Lily by my side on the couch and I hear Paul coming down the stairs as he yawns loudly.

"Good morning." I say with a soft laugh as he rubs his eyes and groans while walking over to me and he sits by me and wraps an arm around me.

"Brr, it's bloody cold. Warm me up, J." Paul whines shivering and I laugh and take another blanket off the stack on the table and give it to him. He moves closer to me and snuggles into my shoulder and I giggle while setting down my coffee and I wrap my arms around him and snuggle into him.

"Warm yet?" I ask him as his head is nuzzled into my shoulder. He nods quickly with a content smile and I kiss the top of his head. Martha stands up and jumps onto our laps and lays down right in the middle, half of my lap and half on Paul's lap and Paul pets her while resting with closed eyes next to me.

"You snore so loud, you sound like my dad." I say while I run my fingers through his black, messy hair and he chuckles with a playful grin.

"So do you, love." he says while keeping his eyes closed.

"I bet I don't snore as loud as you." I say and he smiles and wraps his arms around my waist a little but more snug as his warm body melds into mine.

"Mm, I dunno." he says quietly with a yawn.

"You sound like a foghorn, you woke me up this morning!" I say as I twirl pieces of his long hair around my fingers and he softly chuckles at my answer.

"Ah come on, am I really that bad?" he asks me playfully as he pets Martha lightly and I rest my head on his and close my eyes.

"Sometimes." I say with a yawn and he nods and we cuddle like that for a little bit. We get up eventually and make some breakfast to eat, we clean the kitchen together, the little bathroom, do some laundry and Paul called to order groceries.

We didn't do much that day, just being lazy, did all that cleaning, I did the laundry, I went to the supermarket Paul ordered the groceries from and I picked them up along with some other things and went home to make dinner with Paul. We just made an easy dinner and then went to bed and ended the day with making sweet love, finally.

"We should get horses, J." Paul calls as i'm putting on a towel as I just took a bath while Paul is in the living room playing guitar with the girls.

"That'd be fun!" I say, even though I've never rode a horse, only learned about them in a agriculture class I took in high school.

"Yeah, we could get one each and ride em." he says as I walk out of the bathroom. I walk in front of him to get to the stairs but he catches me by the waist and pulls me onto his lap.

"Paul, let me go get dressed!" I whine as he wraps his arms around me and pushes my wet hair out of my face.

"You don't need any clothes, love. You look beautiful just how you are." he says sweetly as we look at each other and I blush with a smile. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes as I feel his warm hand rub my thigh and I snuggle more into him from being incredibly cold.


	32. Chapter 32

It is now our fourth day at the farm and it's all been going really great! We've done a lot of decorating, cleaning, arranging furniture and such and just making it our own. I sometimes think what would happen with the house and the farm if we were to break up, since both of them are in Paul's **and** my name, but I immediately dismiss the thought not wanting to worry about it. I had been the past few days thinking about the marriage talk between Paul and I and how it's just about nonexistent, I mean wouldn't we at least talk about it a few times by now? Having been dating for 2 years now. But I try not to think about it as much as it does actually bother me, but I don't express my feelings and worry about it to Paul, even though I think he detects that something is bothering me. We had just finished lunch and the dishes and I was in the bathroom putting away newly laundered towels and washcloths and Paul was doing something in kitchen, what it is I don't know.

"Paul honey, what're you doing?!" I ask him curiously.

"I'm trying to tighten the screws on these damn cupboards, but they're shit practically! I think we should just buy new ones." he calls back and I nod to myself remembering the rickety cupboards that came with the house.

"Wouldn't that cost a lot?" I call back since Paul seems to spend money, not carelessly, but never concerned about making the bills and monthly payments.

"Uh, i guess so. But it's better to get new ones put in now, rather them giving out in a few years when it'd be important to have good ones, you know?" he calls back.

"Yeah, good point. When would you want to do that?" I call back as I put our toothbrushes, toothpaste and all those other things in a little plastic holder by the sink.

"Soon as possible, because these pieces of crap are about to fall apart on me." he calls back and I join him in the small kitchen and I wrap my arms around him from behind and rest my forehead on his back.

"Darling, not right now." Paul says quietly and I nod and unwrap my arms from him and go upstairs. He had been acting a bit stand offish lately, if that'd be the appropriate word, I don't know it just seems like something is bothering him or he's worrying about something.

I'm surprised he hasn't or wouldn't tell me, but then again I haven't confessed that how discussion about marriage is nothing, is bothering me. I walk over to Paul's dresser and take the clothes of his from the basket on the floor and fold them.

I was placing some of his t shirts in a drawer when I noticed a plastic bag with something in it and I take it out to see it's marijuana, aka pot. I didn't think Paul smoked pot, yeah he's came home a few times real late and like he had a drink or something, I'm just surprised I noticed it now. I wonder how long he's been smoking and why he hasn't told me about it.

I don't like having secrets between us.

I put it back and continue to put away his clothes. I'm not exactly comfortable with the knowledge he does drugs and I hope he doesn't do any others, but it's his choice as much it does kind of bother me. Another thing for me to worry about: my boyfriend doing drugs. I've never been one to drink much or do any drugs just because I've seen firsthand what it can do to people, from having family members suffer from addiction and being affected by it. Now I get to worry about Paul doing drugs and why he didn't tell me, that's just great. I just, the thing is I don't want to lose him, ever really, and drugs can so easily kill somebody and I'd be so afraid for that to happen to Paul.

I finish putting away his clothes and decide to take a nap to get all of these things off of my mind because they're really bothering me. I fall into a fitful sleep consisting of bad dreams and a lot of tossing and turning.

* * *

"Hey wake up. Yer okay honey, yer alright." I hear Paul say to me while he shakes my shoulder a bit and pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me as I rest my head on his chest and discover I'm crying. What for, I don't know.

"What happened, love?" he asks me in a concerned tone as he runs his fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head once.

"I don't know." I mumble into his chest trying to remember what happened and I suddenly remember having a bad dream where just everything fell apart.

Paul really got into drugs and we broke up and he somehow hated me. I cry more into his chest being haunted by how real and disturbing that dream was. Sleep is supposed to be an escape, not somewhere else where I go to be bothered some more.

"I came up here to talk to you and you were tossing and turning like mad, muttering my name and crying. Why were you crying, honey?" he asks sounding concerned and I want to tell him, but I can't.

"I had a bad dream that I can't remember." I lie into his chest and feel so horrible speaking that lie.

"Oh, well yer okay. Yer safe and everything is alright." he says while rubbing my back and I nod into his chest, but what if it won't always be alright?

"What'd you need to talk to me about?" I ask him as I keep my face buried in his chest, not wanting to face him just yet.


	33. Chapter 33

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings earlier love, I was just trying to fix those cupboards." he says apologetically and I nod into his chest and sigh.

"It's fine." I mutter quietly into his chest.

"It's just hard having the distraction of a beautiful girl like you in front of me." he says sweetly and I nod into his chest.

"Whats wrong, J?" he asks me noticing how I didn't come up with some witty answer in return or any answer.

"Nothing." I mumble.

"I know something's wrong, please just tell me. I don't want secrets between us." he says and I just about gawk at his words.

"Yeah well neither do i." I say.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asks me and I shake my head and pull away from him and sit on the bed with my chin in my palm, half facing him.

"I um found your pot." I say while looking at my hands.

"You did, huh?" he says and I nod continuing to avert his gaze.

"Why have you always said and continue to say no secrets between us but you're just being a hypocrite keeping something like that from me." I say while picking at a thread on the blanket on our bed.

"I don't need your approval to smoke." he says strongly suddenly putting up his guard and tough guy demeanor like he always does when feeling threatened.

"Fine, if you're going to act like this then I just, I won't be honest with you anymore." I say and get up and walk downstairs frustrated and fed up with his bullshit.

"It's not like I lied to you about it!" he says from behind me and I enter the kitchen and go for the fridge.

"But you kept that from me, Paul! You lied to me saying how you want us to never have secrets between each other and then here you are keeping this secret that you're doing drugs for I don't know how long." I say frustrated while facing him after I close the door shut and he looks obviously mad.

"And you aren't keeping anything from me?" he asks to my surprise.

"That doesn't matter, what matters is to you lying about this to me!" I say dodging the bullet.

"You lying to me is equally as bad as me lying to you! Don't you realize that?" he says angrily and i shake my head and look away from him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I say repeating a previous question of mine.

"Way to change the subject, J! Why does it fricken matter anyways?" he says and I gawk at him.

"You didn't answer me." I state.

"Yeah well neither did you." he says and I shake my head with a sigh.

"Why didn't you tell me you smoke pot, Paul? Has it been all of these 2 years we've been dating or just a few months? Because I have no idea how I just noticed it now!" I say getting fed up with this.

"Since late '64." he admits seeming to be ashamed and I nod slowly, over a year of hiding it from me, I feel so pathetic. Moments like this make me wonder why I would ever want to marry him.

"I-I don't want to be a controlling girlfriend, being meticulous of all that you do and I'm not like that! I just, I don't want you to make bad decisions-." I say before he cuts in.

"You just said you don't want to be the controlling type and you then say you're judging my decisions! What kind of bullshit is that, Jackie?! I'm almost 24, not a fricken kid, I can make my own decisions obviously and I don't need somebody younger then me judging me and telling me whether they're good or bad! I do what I want." he says and his words surprise me and make me doubt a lot with us. Gosh I wish I didn't live with him and bought two houses with him, I'm so mad at him right now.

"So I'm just some kid to you, huh? I never said you couldn't make your own decisions and I'm sorry if I judge them sometimes but you don't remember how protective and controlling you can be sometimes with me. And sometimes its too much for me Paul, this is all too much for me." I say and I see his face immediately fall at my words and he looks remorseful and sad.

"You, you want to break up?" he asks me with a weak voice as I see tears form in his eyes.

"I don't know. I'm more concerned if you do, because sometimes, a lot lately I feel like you don't want to be with me anymore. Right now I don't even think you want to be dating me anymore." I say sadly as tears build in my eyes.

"What do you want, Jackie? Do you want to break up? Because I don't want you to be in this relationship if you're not happy." he asks me as he stuffs his hands in his pockets while his voice threatens to break on him.

I look to my feet as tears drop from my eyes and hit the floor and I decide what to do. I have always been afraid of losing him, but he was never exactly mine and this is all so hard and I don't know why I've always been so secure in the knowledge we'd be together forever.

"Tell me what you want? Because I don't want you to be in this if you're unhappy, either." I say as tears stream down my cheeks and I see a few escape Paul's eyes.

"Okay, but don't let it change your answer, no matter what I say. I am extremely happy being with you, I can't ever remember being this happy, even when I was a kid before my mum died. I can tell anything to you and I love and cherish that, but I was afraid to tell you so I didn't tell you. I was afraid you'd be really mad about it and I dunno, possibly leave me. Yeah maybe we do fight a lot and I absolutely hate it, but it makes us stronger as a couple and-." he says but starts to cry and stops and I wait patiently.

"I don't want to lose you, Jackie. But I don't want you to feel like you're being forced and held into this relationship if you're unhappy being with me." he says and cries more so I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him and he hoists me up into his arms with my legs around his waist, his arms under my butt and my arms around his neck. We hold each other close and tightly as we both cry into each other necks and I now am doubting my previous decision of **not** staying with him.


	34. Chapter 34

"I assume you want to stay together?" I murmur into his neck and he nods. I could never leave him, I'd miss him too much.

"I'm not going anywhere. But no more secrets, okay?" I say.

"Stay with me because you want to." I hear him say.

"I do want to, i don't think I could imagine myself not being with you. I'd miss you too much and it'd be too hard." I say back.

"I couldn't imagine not being with you either. I love you so much Jackie and I promise no more secrets." Paul says back and I remember the secret I'm keeping, but I can't really tell that one.

"I love you too Paul and I promise, no more secrets." I say and he let's me down and looks at me as we both have tear streamed faces and he brings his thumb to my cheek and sweetly wipes mine away and I do the same with his as we both softly giggle. After that he pulls me into a tight hug with our arms wrapped around each other and we part he leans down and presses his beautiful lips against mine in a loving kiss where our lips move against each other almost in a desperate way, as if we weren't going to see each other for awhile. I pull away and look up at him to see his teary eyes and I stroke my fingers across his stubbly cheek and look into his eyes lovingly as he looks into mine.

"Don't think that I don't love you, because I do Paul. I love you a lot." I say quietly.

"I know you do, Jackie, I won't worry. And don't you for even a second forget that I love you and that you're one, if not the most important person in my life." Paul says sweetly and I smile at his words and give him a sweet peck.

"I'm erm gonna go call a place about new cupboards and get a catalogue so we can both look, okay?" he says and I nod as he goes into the kitchen and I go to the couch and Martha immediately joins me by snuggling into my lap. I faintly hear Paul on the phone for maybe 10 minutes as he talks to some sales associate about new cupboards and getting them put in today or tomorrow.

"Hey, there's me girls." Paul says cheerfully as he comes over to the couch after finishing his call.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, you know." he says as he wraps his arm around me and snuggles into me as Martha is in my lap.

"It's okay. I just care about you a lot and I don't want something to happen to you." I say honestly as I look up at him and he looks down at me and nods.

"I know you don't and don't worry because nothing will." he says and kisses my forehead and I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder as we both pet Martha. I sigh and continue to pet her while I'm snuggled into Paul.

"Nothing will happen to me, J. You don't need to worry about me." I hear Paul say and I open my eyes to look up at him.

"I still will, you know." I say.

"I know you will and I will always worry about you, but it's just because I love you so stinkin much." he says and I smile at his words and he kisses my nose sweetly.

"Paul, um..never mind." I start but trail off and change my mind and he looks at me weird.

"What is it, love?" he asks me with furrowed eyebrows.

"Just never mind." I say being foolish even speaking. I wanted to somehow bring up the topic of marriage and I'd rather we actually talked about it before anything of that importance happened.

"Jackie?" he says kind of whining with a smile using his puppy dog eyes on me.

"It's nothing." I say as I stroke his pale cheek.

"No secrets." he says egging me on and I sigh and decide to tell him.

"How come we have never like uh.." I start but fail at my choice of words.

"Tell me love, you don't need to be nervous to tell me whatever it is." he says encouragingly while twirling a piece of my long hair around his finger as he looks at me lovingly.

"Remember when we talked that like one time about getting married?" I say and he nods as we look at each other.

"Would you want that for us?" I say going with that way of saying it.

"Yeah, would you want for us to get married one day?" he asks me and I nod with a smile and he nods and leans down to take my face into his hands as he touches his lips softly to mine and he kisses me lovingly for a few seconds.


	35. Chapter 35

We spent the next three days at the farm, we got some nice cupboards put in and found fun things to do there.  
It was now two days after we had come back and I was doing the dishes and it was 10 o'clock and I was starting to get concerned about Paul being out so late. I brush it off and continue to do the dishes and eventually finish them. I hear the front door open when I was rinsing the sink and i hear some footsteps.

"Shit." I hear Paul mutter and I hear him hang up his jacket and his keys dropped on the floor.

"Paul?" I call out.

"Oh hi honey!" he calls back, slurring his words and I could tell he was drunk and I didn't really know what to do because I've never seen him when he was drunk, I've never wanted to. He stumbles into the kitchen and slings his arms around me and I smell the beer on his breath and he smells like weed and cigarettes.

"Where have you been?" I ask him after we part and he stands there trying to maintain his balance and his eyes keep wanting to close.

"Why does it matter?" he says slowly.

"I guess it doesn't." I say back and turn to the sink and hang the towel on it's hook.

"What have you been doing all day? Didn't go on any dates with any blokes did ya?" he asks me as he leans against the fridge for balance and I lean against the counter facing him.

"No, why would you think that?" I ask him confused as to why he would ask that.

"I dunno. I'm surprised you've stayed with pathetic ol' me for 2 years and that you haven't dumped me for some other bloke. You'd probably have a better chance at marriage with some other guy, I don't like commitment. Who'd want to sleep with one woman their whole life?" he says slurring his words and I nod slowly going along with his drunken speech as I'm trying to hold tears back. How could he say that?

"You wouldn't ever want to marry me, huh?" I ask nervously as my extremely drunk boyfriend stands across from me.

"Nah." he says and I nod.

"I'm going to bed." I say.

"Night, I'm sleeping on the couch." he says and I walk upstairs and pack a bag, I can't be here with him and frankly I don't know if I want to be with him. People say that when people are drunk they expose secrets, so what if he doesn't want to get married at all? I quietly call Cyn's house and ask if I can come over to stay, all while I'm sobbing uncontrollably and she quickly says yes and that she'll be there soon.

I tip toe down the stairs and I feel bad to leave the girls with him since he might not feed em but I'll just call the housekeeper tomorrow so she can. I don't leave a note and go outside to meet Cyn. I tell her everything while in tears and she comforts me and tells me I did the right thing even though I felt bad that nobody was there to take care of him. I stay at her house that night, entirely unsure of everything: Paul and i's relationship, my life, my future, my choice of dating him in the first place, moving in with him and just doubting our relationship. I hope tomorrow will bring me some answers and I just hope they're good ones that won't be sad or bad.

* * *

Its mid afternoon and I'm upstairs in the guest bedroom where i'm staying when I hear the door slam downstairs and loud footsteps and voices.

"Let me see my girlfriend, dammit!" I hear Paul say angrily and John and Cyn protest and I go over to the closed door to listen.

"Do you even remember what happened last night?" I hear Cyn ask him.

"What do you mean last night? I remember going to the club with John and having a few beers and then I went home, why what happened?" he says and they must've stopped by the stairs.

"A whole lot happened mate. It just might be enough that you and Jackie are over." John says and I hear Paul gasp.

"What? Wh-what happened? Why might we break up?!" I hear Paul say sadly.

"Uh, you were drunk last night, Macca and i was told you said some pretty awful things to her when you came home." John says.

"Shit. Oh gosh, what'd I say?" Paul asks and I sit down on the floor by the door continuing to listen and I don't care if it's eavesdropping.

"You told her you never want to get married in yer life, because you don't like commitment. You wouldn't want to be married because you wouldn't want to sleep with just one woman yer whole life and that you'd never want to marry her." I hear Cyn say.

"Oh shit, what have I done?" I hear Paul say sounding extremely sad and so am i.


	36. Chapter 36

I sit there on the floor with my knees brought to my chest as I don't know what to do. I don't really want to go down there and see him and fight about it, but I do miss him and I have ever since he came home drunk. I want him to hug me and tell me it'll be alright and that all that he told me isn't true, that he does want to get married.

"Is that really how ya feel, Macca?" I hear John ask.

"No, that's definitely not how I feel. I have no bloody idea why I would say any of that to her." I hear Paul say sadly.

"Paul, do you really want to marry her or not? Because she's not going to stay around in this relationship if there's no chance of that." I hear Cyn say.

"Of course I do. I've told her from the start I want a chance at marriage with her, ugh and now I've probably blown it." Paul says and ends it with a sigh.

"Where is she?" I hear him say and I was wondering whether they'd tell him or not.

"She's upstairs in the guest bedroom on the left." I hear Cyn say and I go back and lay on the bed and I soon hear footsteps coming up the stairs and the door opens slowly.

"Hi." paul says and I keep my gaze on the blanket beneath me.

"Hi." I say back quietly and he walks over and sits at the end of the bed.

"I'm sorry about last night, I didn't mean any of it." he says and I turn to him to see his messy hair, pale face, and sad eyes as they look at me.

"I want to know the truth. Do you or don't you want to get married?" I say as we stare at each other.

"I do Jackie, I promise you i do! All that rubbish that I said last night while drunk was bullshit. I didn't mean any of it and i'm sorry that I even said it! I do want to marry you and I'd have no problem sleeping with just you for the rest of my life. You're my life Jackie, you're all I need to be happy and to fulfill my life." he says and I nod slowly as I take in his words.

"Then why'd you say all that stuff last night?" I ask confused.

"Cos I was drunk and hell I don't remember any of it, not a thing. But ugh, i'm so sorry." he says and puts his head in hands and this time I don't go and wrap my arms around him.

"Is there a reason why you went and got drunk?" I ask curiously.

"No, it wasn't intentional. I just had too many beers." he says while his hands are still over his face.

"Will you please still be my girlfriend? I love you Jackie and I never would want to hurt you, you know that. I'm just a right ol' git who sometimes fucks it up with his girlfriend who he really loves and couldn't imagine not being with." he says while looking at me and I nod and think of what to do. I can tell he's not lying to me about really getting married but i'm not going to forgive him in just a second.

"Please Jackie?" he asks me with a pout while using his puppy dog eyes on me and I decide to give in, I can't resist him because I love him far too much.

"How's your hangover?" I ask playfully.

"Bloody horrible. My head is throbbing and feels so heavy and ugh I swear the sun is on a mission to blind me any chance it gets." he says as he groans and puts his head in his hands again and I move over to him and wrap my arms around him while resting my head on his shoulder. He unwraps my arms and pulls me onto his lap while wrapping his arms around me tightly and burying his face into my neck as I wrap my arms around him and I rest my forehead on his shoulder.

"You need a bath." I tease playfully noticing his greasy hair.

"Will you give me one?" he says.

"Of course, anything for you." I say sweetly and kiss his scratchy neck.

"I love you, Jackie." he says.

"I love you too, Paul." I say back and we pull apart to face each other and I lean in and crush my lips against his and he immediately kisses me back. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back as we lovingly kiss and I pull away after a number of seconds.

"I'm so sorry, J. I honestly didn't mean any of that-." he starts to apologize again but I stop him.

"It's okay, Paul. You don't need to keep on apologizing, it's over and done with and I just hope it won't happen again." I say as I look into his tired eyes and he nods and I kiss his nose and he smiles weakly.

"It won't happen again, I promise." he says genuinely and I nod believing him.

"Good, because it scared the scrap out of me having you come home drunk for the first time." I admit and he nods and seems to be embarrassed and looks down at his lap.

"Let's go home and I'll take care of you, how does that sound?" I say sweetly while I stroke his cheek.

"That sounds gear." he says quietly and I nod and kiss his cheek and I grab my stuff and we leave John and Cyn's house and head to his car. Nothing was said on the way home as we held hands and he drove.

**AN: So, what're you thinking?**


	37. Chapter 37

I feed the girls when we get home as Paul goes up and draws a bath for himself and I decide to join him after I'm done with the girls' food. I find Paul with his eyes closed in the bath with his hair and body already wet and I end up joining him and we take a bath together.

"Do you have to go and record today?" I ask him as we're both snuggled up

in the bed together with our slightly wet bodies pressed together and arms wrapped around each other.

"No." Paul says with a yawn and I nod into his neck as I feel his fingers stroke my back and soon enough he falls asleep there in my arms and I too fall asleep in his strong, warm arms that I love to be in.

* * *

I wake up alone in the bed and I grab my robe and walk downstairs to see Paul walking in the door with Martha at his feet as he's in jeans and a button up.

"Good afternoon or erm night, darling." he says with a smile and a small laugh and I return both and we both head into the kitchen and we make some things in the pantry for dinner, then we cuddle on the couch watching a movie.

"Let's go on a holiday." Paul says randomly after the movie ends as we're still cuddling with his arms wrapped around me and my head resting on his shoulder and my legs in his lap.

"Where?" I ask him.

"I dunno, anywhere really. Where do you want to go, sweetie?" Paul asks me as we look at each other and I bite my lip as I think.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask not being able to thinking of anywhere really.

"Um how about Jamaica or Sardinia? We can get away from all of this snow and cold." Paul says and I nod.

"How about Jamaica then? It'll be warmer then Sardinia." he says and I nod trusting his judgment and I snuggle into his shoulder as he keeps his arm around my waist as his other arm is on my legs with his hand resting on my thigh.

"I love you so much." he says sweetly and kisses my forehead and I smile as my eyes are closed and I open them to look up at him.

"I love you too, very much." I say as I caress his smooth, shaven cheek with my hand and he smiles and we move to meet in a sweet kiss for a second.

"When for the holiday?" I ask him curiously as I return my head to his shoulder.

"How about this weekend? I really think we just need to get out of here and be somewhere new for a little while." he says and I nod as I feel his hand rub my thigh while i'm in a pair of his pajama pants and a thin t shirt.

"How does 1 week sound? It's the best I can do, sweetheart." he says and I tell him that's fine and we head upstairs for bed and Paul calls for making the arrangements for this weekend as I took Martha out for the night and head back upstairs and get into bed.

"What're you thinking about?" I ask Paul as we lay next to each other with the light still on and I have my hand on his soft cheek while he stares into space.

"Just how lucky I am to have you." he says sweetly looking back to me and I smile at him and he too smiles.

"I'm the lucky one." I say thinking of how I'm dating this famous musician who I never would of thought as a fan at first that i'd end up dating him. I really was lucky to get that chance to meet the Beatles and if it weren't for that I don't think we would have ever ended up together like this.

"No no, I am." he says playfully with a smile and I giggle.

"It's not every day you find yourself dating Paul McCartney the beatle whose known world wide." I state and he nods in understanding.

"Well it also isn't every day yer lucky enough to find your soul mate at such a young age." he says with a grin on his face and my cheeks flush pink and I smile at him.

Soul mate? I think he's mine because we're so great together, we always have such fun together, we fit like two puzzle pieces in so many ways, it's amazing each time we make love and we both love each other immensely. I think we're meant to be and I can't see myself without him.

"Soul mate, huh?" I ask with a little smirk.

"Mmhmm, even though neither of us are perfect by any means, I think we're perfect for each other." he says and I nod in agreement.

"Do you consider me your soulmate?" he asks me and I don't need to think about it.

"Yes." I answer and he nods with a proud grin.


	38. Chapter 38

We do our normal thing over the next three days, Paul working and me either at home or hanging out with Cyn and Mo. Mo and Rings' new baby boy is absolutely adorable. I love babies and holding him is great. I wonder if babies are in Paul and i's future. I remember us joking about it and how fun that was. Paul got all the arrangements made for us going to Jamaica Saturday and the rest of the week went by fast as we're both excited to be somewhere warm and sunny and that's not London. We pack our bags and leave Saturday morning for our holiday while the girls went over to Paul's brothers house.

"Excited for Jamaica?" Paul asks me as we sit down in our seats on the plane. He puts his arm around me and I snuggle into his shoulder and place my hand on his upper left thigh. I nod and close my eyes as i'm content in his arms.

"I love you, you know." Paul whispers into my ear sweetly and I smile at his words.

"I love you too." I whisper looking up at him and he places his finger under my chin and brings my face closer to his and touches his lips to mine sweetly for a second.

"What do you want to do first when we get to Jamaica?" he asks me and I hunch my shoulders not having an answer.

"We'll just see what time it is when we get there." he says and I nod.

"I'm sorry the flight is so long, love." he says apologetically since it's a 9 and a half hour flight.

"It's fine, it's not your fault." I say softly and he nods and kisses my head. I relax into his shoulder as the plane takes off and we begin our voyage to warm Jamaica.

I fall asleep soon after we're in the air and I wake up a few hours later to Paul snoring of course, I'm surprised the few people back in this private area didn't notice. He had his head resting on mine and I shake his shoulder and he groans and gets comfortable again. I run my finger across his soft cheek as he sleeps and I smile at my adorable boyfriend as he dozes next to me. I softly kiss his chubby cheek as his eyes are closed and he snores lightly. I shake his shoulder realizing I need to go to the bathroom and again i'm on the inside.m

"Paul, wake up." I say as he groans and snuggles back into me.

"Paul, I need to get out." I say and he groans again as he lifts his head up and covers his face with his eyes and tries to wake up.

"Good morning sleepy head, finally you wake up." I say sweetly in a teasing tone and I kiss his cheek a few times as his face is still covered by his hands.

"I was so comfortable and sleeping soundly, J and then you had to wake me up." he whines groggily.

"Ah my poor baby. I gotta use the bathroom quick, I'll be right back." I say and he nods and leans back into the seat as I make my way to the bathroom.

I exit the bathroom to see some brunette haired, buxom flight attendant talking to Paul as she bats her large eyes and practically has her boobs in his face as she bends down to talk to him. I see Paul glance down at her exposed cleavage repeatedly and I huff at his hormonal ways and I walk down the aisle and he notices me and immediately looks he was just caught doing something he shouldn't of done, but that's what just happened.

"Excuse me, can I get in?" I ask so the flight attendant will move and she does and I get in my seat. I feel Paul try to take my hand but I pull it out his grasp quickly and stare out the window as the clouds below me display their 3D-ish features.

I've never seen him look at another girl that way, maybe he's done it a lot while I'm not around or when we were apart at first. To do that right in front of your longtime girlfriend is just disrespectful. The flight attendant leaves after I sit down and Paul sits there quietly as he tries to put his hand on my knee but I brush it off and cross my legs.

"Don't." I protest as I'm trying to calm down and breath.

"J, I wasn't flirting with her or anything." he says.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see you were staring down her shirt, Paul." I say back as I continue to stare out the window.

"What do you want me to say, huh?" he asks in a ticked off tone.

"Don't talk to me." I say.

"How am I supposed to do that when we're about to spend a holiday in a foreign country together for the next week?" he asks and I shake my head being fed up.

"I'm sorry okay?" he asks me as he tries to take my hand again and I let him as he strokes his thumb along my hand sweetly.

"Why did you have to flirt with her in front of me?" I ask as I turn to him.

"Or do you just do that when I'm not around?" I ask skeptically.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this? I'm sorry that I kept looking down her shirt, okay?" he asks angrily and somewhat sadly. I sigh and look away from him not knowing what to say.

"It's not like I cheated on you." he protests quietly so the few people also here in back won't hear us.

"Have you ever cheated on me?" I ask quickly not thinking about what I said.

"You don't trust me, do you?" he asks as he was caught off guard by my words.

"I do trust you." I say calmly as I'm sorry for what I said.

"I've never cheated on you, Jackie and I wouldn't ever want to because I love you and wouldn't want to sleep with any other woman." he says as we look into each others eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said." I say softly and he nods and looks at me sadly.

"I'm sorry I was staring at that flight attendant." he says softly in a sad tone and I nod.

"I can't say it's okay, because it's not, Paul." I admit.

"I don't want you to say it's okay because I know it isn't and I'm sorry that I did it." he says and I nod.

"I forgive you though." I say.

"Thank you." he answers and I nod and we meet in the middle in a sweet kiss that lasts a few seconds.

"I love you, I really really do baby." paul says quietly against my lips.

"I love you too and I do trust you. I trust you fully, I just don't like seeing you flirt with other girls because it makes me think I'm not enough for you or that you don't want me." I confess against his lips as we stare into each others eyes.

"You are enough for me Jackie and I do want you, more then I've ever wanted any other girl in my life. Plus yer boobs are way nicer then hers, by a lot." he says and I smile and giggle at his words as a grin appears on his face.


	39. Chapter 39

I cuddle into Paul as he wraps his arms around me and strokes my stomach as I have my hand cupped on his muscular thigh. It wasn't okay what he did but I still forgave him and I guess it's not that big of a deal.

"I love you Jacqueline Elizabeth Anderson." I hear Paul mutter as he kisses the top of my head.

"Don't say my full name, I hate it." I whine as I look up to see a smirk on his face.

"Would you like it better if your last name was 'McCartney' instead?" he asks and I nod and blush.

"I love you James Paul McCartney." I say and he sighs and smiles at me.

"How about I call you James from now on, or I could call you Jimmy, Jamie or Jim." I say and I say Jim in a proper male voice and Paul laughs.

"Only if I can call you Jacqueline forever." he says and I squint my eyes and scrunch my nose and he giggles.

"I love yer full name, it's beautiful." he says sweetly as he looks down at me and strokes my cheek.

"I love your full name too, Jamie McCartney." I say playfully and he rolls his eyes.

"Okay, it's too weird calling you that." I say with a laugh and he nods with a smile.

"I like calling you Jacqueline though. Jacqueline Elizabeth McCartney, that goes great together. Jackie McCartney, Jacqueline McCartney, J McCartney, Mrs. McCartney, Mrs. Jacqueline McCartney, Mrs. Paul McCartney, Mr. and Mrs. Paul McCartney." Paul says and I laugh at all the choices.

"Okay, you're getting carried away." I say.

"Not really, I want that, J. I want people all over the world to know how much I love you and that you're my wife and I can introduce you as Mrs. Jackie McCartney." he says catching me off guard with this and I smile at his words.

"I love you, sweetheart." he says sweetly as he caresses my cheek while looking at me lovingly.

"Mrs. Jacqueline McCartney does sound way better then Ms. Jacqueline Anderson." I admit and he smiles and kisses me sweetly.

"I agree." Paul says after pulling away from the kiss and I smile and rest my head back on his shoulder.

"I want to get married some day." I hear Paul say as my eyes are closed and he's playing with my hair.

"So do I." I add.

"I'm asking this theoretically, do you want to marry me?" he asks me like he didn't already know.

"Yes." I say.

"Do you want to marry me?" I say.

"Yes." he retorts quickly.

"I assume you wouldn't want the big fuss of an all out wedding." he says and I nod.

"Too much money." I say since I'd feel bad and he nods.

"I'd like to do more then just going to the registry office." he says and i nod in agreement.

"Do you want to be a young bride or wait?" he asks as I'm completely surprised by his full on questioning and involvement in the marriage talk all of a sudden. I think and as much as I want us to marry, I wouldn't have a problem with waiting and hey I'm only 20 and it's only been 2 years. Not that this matters, but my parents were together for years before they married. We're both young, 20 and 23 so it's not like there's any rush to get married and we would have plenty of time to get married in the following years.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"There's no rush with it, love." he says with a yawn as his arms leave me while he stretches.

"Wait." I admit and he nods and sweetly kisses the top of my head.

"Are you ready for that kind of commitment?" I ask him.

"Sure." he says and I exhale. You're really not making me feel so sure that you are ready for marriage, Paul.

I don't want him to feel rushed either, but I don't want him to do something that he doesn't want to do and isn't sure about but does it because it's expected of him. I don't think he's ready, not near to it, considering how much we've fought lately and how it's all started by him. 'Do I forgive him too easily?', I think. I forgave him, but I certainly didn't forget all of our fights and things he started. If it came down to it and he proposed right this second, would I even say yes? I don't think I would because he's still so immature and I don't know how or when he'll mature more into the man I'd in a second say yes too. What if we need time away from each other? What if I should've left him at that big fight we had at the farm? Am I making a mistake staying with him, because I've thought once or twice that I just don't want to be here with him and would rather be home living with Holly. What does this mean? Should I stay or leave? Because if I'm having second thoughts like this, i don't think I should be in this. I move over towards the window and remove my hand from his thigh.

"Why'd you move?" Paul asks me as a tear escapes my eye. I don't want to break his heart, am I really that important to him?

"Sweetheart?" Paul asks me again since I didn't answer.

We're 6 hours into the flight, what am I supposed to do for the last 3 hours if I break up with him now. He already spent so much money on this trip and I don't even know if I have the money to fly back home, let alone all of my stuff that's at Paul's house. More tears escape my eyes and I feel Paul's hand on my shoulder as my back is to him.

"I'm not sure if I want to be dating you anymore." I confess and I hear a hitch in his breathing.

**AN: I'm sorry for hitting you with these sad parts, but it'll get better for them soonish, promise. Anyways I'm hoping you're still enjoying them! **


	40. Chapter 40

"When'd you decide this?" I hear him say and his tone was drastically different and it sounded like he was about to cry.

"Just now." I admit while crying.

"Why? I thought you just said you want to get married." he says sadly.

"I just can't be with you, Paul. We fight so much and I don't want to you to marry me if you're not ready." I say while crying and I can't believe we're doing this on a plane but there's only 2 people here in back and they're out of earshot.

"We can work on it, J. I'll promise you I'll work on it, I'll be home more and we can go up to the farm more if you want and we can go visit your family soon. Just please don't leave me." he says sadly as I watch him blink the tears away as I'm crying hard already.

"We can get married next week, whatever you want. I'll do anything, Jackie." he says.

"That's the thing, Paul. I don't want you to feel as if you're being forced into marriage, I want you to want it." I say.

"I do want it, just not right this instant or next week. I know I can be a dick sometimes and that I have maturing to do, we both have maturing to do. I'm sorry Jackie, for everything I've done and for coming home drunk and saying all that shit to you that I didn't mean. I love you so much and I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you or test that." he says and sighs and puts his head in his hands and cries lightly.

We both sit there for the rest of the flight crying lightly for the next ten minutes as Paul is a sad mess and I'm staring out the window not knowing what to think or what I should do. Did I just make a crucial mistake? Do I really want to throw away 2 years of this wonderful relationship with the man I love. We gather our luggage when the plane lands and we get off and enter the airport and sit at a bench.

"Are you staying?" Paul asks me quietly as I look to his empty eyes and expressionless face.

"Do you hate me?" i ask him.

"No, I could never hate you." he says simply and I nod.

"I want to leave." I admit and he nods as I see tears fill his eyes at my decision making words. We both stand up and he pulls me into his arms and I start crying again.

"I'm sorry." I mutter into his chest.

"Don't be sorry, I wouldn't want you to be in this if you don't want to be." he says as I feel his forehead resting on my head.

"I wish you could've just, let us work it out." he says.

"I think we need time apart." I admit.

"What does that mean?" he asks as his arms are wrapped tightly around me, almost too tight like I'm going to disappear, but I sort of am about to.

"I need time to think, while not being with you." I say.

"Are we breaking up?" he asks sadly.

"Does time apart mean breaking up or just a break?" I ask.

"I don't care what it's supposed to mean, but I want it to mean a break. I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you." he says as I continue to cry.

I nod into his chest and we pull away from each other and he wipes away my tears as we look at each other sadly and he moves in and presses his lips to my forehead and leaves them there for a few seconds.

"I'll always love you, Jackie." he says and I nod not trusting my voice.

"Take your time, I'll be there whenever you decide." he says and I nod again and I hug him once more and he leaves while he looks back at me and slightly waves and I wave back.

I find a phone and call Holly and cry to her about everything and she tells me it's okay and I confess how bad I feel for doing this to him and she tells me it sounded like he understood but it doesn't help any.

I find money for a flight back to the states and it was a lonely trip back. I stayed with Holly for the next few weeks as I didn't know what to do and Paul and I didn't talk and my things stayed there and I had no problem with it.

* * *

I wake up in my old bed two weeks after coming back and I remember the memories with Paul and start crying again.

"Um Jackie. Paul called, he didn't want to talk but he said he hopes that your happy and that you're okay." Holly says as I sit down next to her on the couch as she's reading a book and I nod, how thoughtful of him.

"How'd he sound?" I ask quietly since I'm worried about him.

"He honestly sounded like a disaster." she says and I nod and go to get a cup of coffee.

I miss him so badly, more than I have ever before. I still don't know what I want to do and it's so hard being away from him and I worry about his condition and how he's doing, i want the best for him.

**AN: Hi there, so this is the end of this fic, and the sequel 'I Will' should be up soon if not right away. I hope you enjoyed reading this fic and that you're still liking the series. A lot of fun and happy things are ahead for them in the next fic, I told you it will get better for them. **


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